As is often the case on the Internet, you can find the best ways to offer service to your visitors by simply going through the list of keywords that people have used to find your site, and that is the case here today.
Recently someone found the Today is that Day website (specifically this post) by searching MSN for the phrase “what will make me positive”.
Well, the short answer to that question is that no person or set of circumstances can make someone else positive. Positivity is something that comes from the inside, and it is up to us as individuals to decide the level of influence that outside factors will have on our own attitude.
However, there are certain things that you can do which will keep you on the right track, so to our new visitor (and everyone else), here is a list of 7 ways to become a positive person. Enjoy!
1) Mind your feelings, Luke!
One of the hardest things about keeping a positive attitude (or about self improvement in general), is remembering to constantly focus on the desired end result.
Life throws lots of negativity at us and it can sometimes get to the point where lashing out against the onslaught is nothing less than self defense. However, if you create a negative state of mind by reacting in a less than positive manner – no matter how justified that reaction may be – you will still have created that negative state of mind.
If you need to, bust out your Jedi mind control and get those emotions under control, lest they control you!
2) Take out the Trash
As you learn more and more about having a positive attitude), it may become easier to take on the belief that the higher you get, the more you can look down on others. Don’t do that.
However, no matter how open-minded and understanding you manage to become – even in the face of adversity – there will always be people who regularly insist on bringing negativity into your life. Get rid of them.
Yes, yes, I know. You can’t get rid of your family members, you can’t fire you co-workers, blah, blah, blah. No, you may not be able to completely get rid of them, but you can limit your interaction with them, and you can tell them to take a hike when they are being negative.
What’s the worst that could happen? Some negative family member or annoying co-worker stops talking to you?? Don’t be afraid to tell negative people to get out of your bubble!
3) Reach for the Golden Nuggets
Okay, so what about those situations where there is negative energy, and you just can’t get away? Look for the good!
There is some positive aspect to even the most mind-numbing situations, and by finding that silver lining, you can turn a perceived bad set of circumstances into something that works towards your own interests.
Having trouble figuring out how to be happy about obnoxious teenagers, what is good about your jerk of a boss, or what possible positive outcome could happen as a result of your car breaking down?
Each of these things gives us contrast. They teach us how to behave (or not behave), they teach us to be better prepared, or they simply teach us to enjoy the times in our lives when those circumstances are not present.
Would you really know how to appreciate a roaring fire and a cup of hot cocoa if you had never come close to freezing to death after walking a mile in the snow after your car broke down?
4) Plan your good Samaritan Effort
Every day, plan to do something completely selfless. No, it can’t be something that looks selfless, but is actually all about you. It has to be something that you do for someone else, and you expect absolutely nothing in return.
This act doesn’t have to be some major undertaking, either. Do a chore around the house that you normally wouldn’t do. Bring your co-worker a cup of their favorite beverage from the coffee shop. Buy someone lunch. Help an elderly person load their groceries into their car.
Do something like that every day. In fact, plan it out in advance, so that you are sure to get it done. Can’t see what helping other people has to do with becoming a positive person?
Try it every day for a week and then come back and post a comment on this blog about how great you feel!
5) Plaster a Smile On
When all else fails, smile like you mean it – even if you don’t! Human beings are naturally social creatures, and even if we are in the foulest of moods, by interacting with other people in a positive manner, we start the slow or even sudden climb to feeling more positive.
Whenever I workout at the gym, I have zero interest in talking to other people. I am there to workout, I am very focused, and I would prefer not to be disturbed.
However, when someone motions for me to help them with something, and I begrudgingly take off my headphones so I can hear what they are saying, something miraculous happens:
I help them, or answer their question, and then I feel better afterwards! Even if I just wrap my headphones back around my head and go back to working out in my undisturbed manner, I always feel better for having interacted with and assisted another person.
6) Mainline the Good Stuff
Experience positive and uplifting circumstances throughout each day. It’s just not possible to run around in a negative mood all the time if you consistently experience and appreciate things that you consider to be positive.
Everyone has their own definition of what is positive for them, but here is a brief list of things that you can experience frequently throughout each day:
- Affirmations – No, not affirmations that you say (although those are great, too), but rather affirmations that you see. Put uplifting messages on your computer wallpaper or around your office, set up your email program to send you affirmations at certain times each day, use your cell phone or PDA to send yourself positive messages and reminders at preselected intervals.
- Audio content – Listen to empowering audio while you are driving, on your computer, or on your portable music player when you are working out. Again, by constantly inputting positive information, it just won’t be possible to maintain a negative state of mind.
- Look around – Everyone has things in their immediate surroundings at any given time that they can be grateful for. However, if you don’t take the time to consciously appreciate those things, you will get into the habit of just taking them for granted. Every few hours just stop what you are doing, and for 5 minutes just look around wherever you are and appreciate things that you normally just take for granted.
7) Remember why you Care
And last, but hardly least, remind yourself several times per day (or several dozen!) that you want to have a positive outlook on life, and remind yourself about why you even care.
You can use exercises like those mentioned above all day long, but if you don’t have a true desire to actually have a positive attitude, then these types of activities won’t do you much good. If you choose to live your life as a positive person, then you must have some reason for choosing that path.
Each time a potentially negative influence crosses your path, remind yourself of your reason for wanting to be a positive person. Your desire to be positive will outweigh your desire to have a negative reaction to the outside stimulus, and after awhile this entire process will become second nature.
Aaron:
When I saw the word “adversity” in today’s post, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was actually a link back to my blog. Thank you for the generous link love! I don’t know if you’re aware of this but I have a permanent link at Adversity University linking back to you so that my growing list of subscribers can learn more about you. It’s my way of giving you permanent and everlasting link love. Thanks for thinking of me in today’s post – it’s so much appreciated.
Now of course, I loved your post, not just because you linked me but because it’s so interesting. It balances out a previous article you wrote about what positive thinking would not do for you. Nice balancing act!
Do you realize how much you’ve reminded me of everyday things that are sometimes forgotten in the normal course of life? You are truly one of a kind.
I know we will meet. Sorry for rambling on on and on and on. Have a great day. Thanks again for remembering me in today’s post.
Stephen
Stephen,
Great to hear from you, as always, and I’m happy to send some link love your way. It is your doing actually because of the catchy name ‘Adversity University’ that you came up with! Every time I hear the word adversity I immediately think of Adversity University. Since I know you are a great guy with some quality information to share, I am more than happy to introduce people to your site.
As far as the balancing act, you are absolutely correct. I have written several posts that point out false ideas about personal development concepts or simply negative things that people do, and that is of course done in order to educate people about the proper actions to take. Nonetheless, it always feels good to balance that out with nothing but the good stuff! 🙂
Looking forward to that day when we meet, Stephen, and in the meantime keep on doing what you do!
Aaron:
Your comment about how everytime you hear or see the word “adversity,” you think of Adversity University. That’s great to know because I’m now beginning to realize that this is a branding thing. I’ve been busy reinventing myself and working on becoming known as the “Adversity” life coach and motivational speaker, etc. Your comment made me realize that I must be on the right track as far as branding myself in that area. Thanks for the confirmation.
Stephen
Aaron,
This is a stupendous post! I can’t imagine someone doing all of these things and not feeling like their world is a wonderful place to be.
Mike
hi Aaron,
I can relate to your ‘Reach for the Golden Nugget’ or in other words, looking for the good in others.
I had some massive transformation with my dad when I completed some of my past with him. After I had the courage to make this massive quantum leap with our relationship I figured I would be transformed for good – not the case. The next week I was talking to my dad and he says, “What the hell, are you taking pills or something?”
I gotta say that I normally would of lost it and reacted in response to his attack but this time was different. This time I knew how much my dad cared about me and I knew his concern for me was coming from a place of love and compassion.
Nowadays, every time I get on the phone with my dad I think about how compassionate he is before getting on the phone. To my amazement this worked better than expected. It’s been over a year that I’ve been doing this consistently and I can easily go up to my dad and give him a big hug without any problem. A big deal for me and my dad.
What I learned? – people aren’t as scary as we make them out to be and persistence at anything pays off BIG TIME!
If you want to read more about me and my dad, check out my post, ‘How To Become A Good Listener’ at http://www.stephenmartile.com/?cat=13&paged=6
Cheers,
Stephen Martile
Personal Development with NLP
http://www.stephenmartile.com
Stephen,
You are indeed on the right track, and I highly recommend that you use the “Adversity University” concept to brand yourself!
It totally rolls off the tongue, it is incredibly easy to remember, and the name is powerful and informative. I say go for it!
Mike,
Thanks for the positive feedback, and I’m glad you enjoyed the post so much! It is my sincere desire that people will go out into the world and do these things on a very regular basis! 🙂
Stephen,
Thank you so much for sharing that story about you and your Dad! It demonstrates clearly the power of picking up these types of positive habits.
Also, by thinking of the good before you get on the phone, you put yourself into a state of mind that protects you even if something negative does come up.
That is one of the best things about keeping a positive attitude. It is both a great offense, and smashing defense at the same time! 🙂
Good stuff, Stephen – thanks again for sharing!
Fabulous information again, Aaron! I especially like the reminder in #1 that we really can choose how we feel! Exercising that power of choice has to be one of the biggest keys to successful deliberate creation.
Great post!
Jeannette
http://goodvibecoach.com
http://loaplayground.blogspot.com
Thanks, Jeannette – glad you liked the post!
And you are 100% correct – our power of choice is our key to success. Things happen in the world, and from our point of view, they are either good or bad.
However, regardless of how we feel about them, we can choose to have a positive or a negative response. I choose the positive! 🙂
I have just started a list of outstanding personal development bloggers. I added you as one of the original top 5. I’m asking that each of you add your favorites to the list. Please, join me and carry it on.
This is a great post on becoming a positive person. I am a high school counselor and these same principles go a long way with every age group. I noticed your book links and as I have read those books myself, I wanted to refer another one to you as it seems we have similar interests. The Science of Getting Rich is based around the law of attraction and creative thought as well. The author is Wallace Wattles.
I just recently launched my own website and blog — bemorebalanced.com/WordPress/ — and my goal is to share daily ideas with readers on how to create a more balanced life.
I think becoming a positive person is definitely a tip for finding balance. If you don’t mind, I’d love to refer people over here to this post.
Thanks again,
Stacey Allison
Priscilla,
Much obliged for adding me as part of what is already shaping up to be a great list of personal development bloggers! I really appreciate it, and I would love to keep the project going. Look for a post coming up in the near future with some names that will bring great value to the list! 🙂
Stacey,
Welcome to the Today is that Day community, and thanks for sharing your thoughts!
One of the great things about timeless concepts such as keeping a positive attitude is that it applies to all people of all ages, shapes, and sizes.
As far as ‘The Science of Getting Rich‘, most people ’round these parts are very familiar with that book and similar concepts, as I frequently talk about the Law of Attraction. Personally, I’ve read it 3 times already. Thank you much for the recommendation!
I see that your blog is just getting off the ground and you’ve got a great theme going. Happiness and success should be a part of all aspects of our lives, not just one or two.
Feel free to send whoever you would like over to check out this post, and I’ll thank you in advance for helping to share the concepts discussed in the post itself, as well as here in the comments section. 🙂
Oh wow! Am I glad I read this – just what I needed after a fairly difficult week – this post puts everything in perspective again – thanks Aaron!
Hi Aaron,
What a great group of readers you have! This is my first visit to your site and I’ve unearthed lots of gems of wisdom…
I particularly loved your comment about visual affirmations. I recently created a “vision map” at a women’s retreat (think a bunch of women in the forest, talking, singing, crying, swimming in freezing seas and burning letters on the beach) and it was a great way to visualize my goals. I really liked having visual reminders of the intangible stuff – happiness, friendship, stimulation and kindness.
Thanks again.
Simone,
Well I am now happy to include you among that list of great readers – welcome to the community! 🙂
Having visual reminders is such a powerful tool, especially these days when everyone is always in such a hurry. It sounds like during your women’s retreat there was lots of visual stuff going on, and I’m sure it was seriously empowering.
If you don’t already know about her, Christine Kane holds retreats for women as well, and she is a total gem. You can check out her site at http://www.christinekane.com.
Again – welcome, Simone!
This is my first visit to your blog and I like what I see! Thank you for such inspirational content!
#8 Leave the Past in the Past.
#9 Forgive Others including Yourself.
That’s good advice for all of us. Thanks for dropping by the other day.
Cheers!
…BB
Bob,
Welcome – very glad to have you here! I do my best to keep the inspirational content flowing, so look for more in the future, and thanks for the visit!
BB,
Much obliged for the return visit and thanks for adding some quality advice to the list!
As much as our past is a part of who we are, once it’s done, it’s done. Learn from it, but then leave it there!
And forgiveness is definitely an internal thing, and whether it is directed towards ourselves or to others, getting clear of negativity through forgiveness falls right in line with leaving the past where it belongs.
Awesome stuff – thanks again for sharing!
Nice one! Lots of similar ideas as in my favorite book by Andrew Matthews: “Follow Your Heart.”
Thanks, Sully!
I appreciate the positive feedback, and I’m definitely a big fan of following your heart. That’s where the fun is! 🙂
It’s articles like these that make this blog one of my favorite reads, Aaron. Like Mike said all the waaaay up there, I can’t see going through this list and not having a shift toward positivity.
And thanks for that juicy keyword link as well! Sweet… 🙂
Lyman,
I don’t know what I enjoyed more – writing this article, or the incredibly positive comments that I’ve gotten since I did it! 🙂
Very glad you liked it, and I’m happy to send the link love. You have built up an awesome collection of free content over there on your site, and I want to highly encourage people to take advantage of it!
i am currently dealing with a VERY difficult mother in law and your web site has opened a major door for me ….. i will try everyday to be positive and to look for the good …….. i will give this a try and post in a week my experience….thanks in advance!!!!!!!
that's great, so happy to hear it!
one tip: note and appreciate every little improvement, everything that goes well. we tend to be very hard on ourselves, i.e. we want to see the whole problem solved really fast or we say it's not working… when in truth most people give up when they're 75% or more there.
most importantly, have faith that it can be done. what you believe (good or bad) is how it's likely to go, most every time.
Thanks for this Aaron,
well put indeed, I feel better already.
I am living at home with my mother and she is a very very frustrating person at times, she is always negative and complains and brings me down. I always get affected by her words and end up being a cranky person to the outside world.. i don't want to be that person, I want to be a positive person! This was the first time i'd ever searched for advise on the internet and I feel like someone understand what I want already.
Thanks again
CJ
Good article. I lyk it vry much.
I really want to be a positive person, reading this has made me realise that it can happen and I don't have to 'pretend' to be positive. I'm not generally a negative person but with a stressful job and a busy personal life too, it is all starting to bring me down and I am worried I cannot see the end of the tunnel.
Reading this has changed my perspective and I really feel that being a more positive, open minded person can make others feel positive too.
Thank you Aaron.
Lara