For the record, I am a total believer in the Law of Attraction. You can call it universal consciousness, the power of intention, conscious creation – whatever.
No matter what you call it, or how you define it, the simple truth remains that human beings have the ability to manipulate their lives in order to get exactly what they want, and that thought fills me with joy on a regular basis.
However, the problems start when people start thinking along the lines of “Well, if I have unlimited power, then I can manipulate other people as well”.
Ummm…no, it doesn’t work that way. Each person does have unlimited power, but their power is over themselves and their own experiences, not to control other people’s lives. Can you imagine the chaos if we were all imbued with the ability to control each other’s thoughts and actions like pieces on a chess board??
That’s not the Law of Attraction – that’s anarchy!
So, in doing my part to educate the masses (which actually means I’m educating myself, for you Ho’oponopono fans), I have put together this list of 10 Things you Can’t do with the Law of Attraction. Enjoy!
You can’t manufacture Money
The belief that you can sit around visualizing millions of dollars, and then suddenly they will just show up for you is nothing less than a total fantasy. As James Arthur Ray says, if you sit around on your couch doing nothing but visualizing being rich, they’ll come and take your furniture away!
Law of Attraction Equivalent: What you can do is visualize being rich or abundant, and then pay attention to what starts happening in your life. The Law of Attraction will line you up with opportunities to gain wealth, but if you don’t get up and take action when you are inspired to do so, visualizing will do very little except help you to realize what it feels like to have a bunch of money in your head, but nowhere else…
You can’t make people do Things
Despite your own unlimited power over your life, you have zero power to influence what other people do. Focusing on the desire to see your boss come groveling before you asking for respect and begging to give you a raise will just make it that much harder when he/she instead comes to your desk and yells at you for sitting around daydreaming.
Law of Attraction Equivalent: The LOA is all about resonance, not attraction. You will resonate with certain people and experiences, so those people and experiences will then show up in your life. If you want people in your life to do certain things, then focus on what it will feel like when those certain things happen. They will then be delivered, but they will very likely be delivered in a way – or by a person – that are a far cry from actual control over any specific individual.
You can’t impose ill-will onto Others
Just like you can’t control other people’s actions, you can’t wish for bad things to happen to other people, either. Also, based on the fact that you will be attracting things that resonate with you, it is far more likely that you will end up with some ill-will in your life, rather than the other person.
Law of Attraction Equivalent: If you truly want something negative to befall someone else (and shame on you for thinking that!) it is because you want to feel a certain way. You want to feel vindicated, vengeful, righteous, or whatever. Although most people would consider those to be negative emotions, again, the LOA is about resonance. By focusing on feelings such as that, you will eventually attract the circumstances that will allow you to feel that way. You may not like it when it actually happens, but that is a discussion for another day…
You can’t make someone love You
Relationships are all about you, not about the other person. By trying to impose your will of “love” onto someone else so that they will love you, the vibrations that you will be sending out into the universe will be those of lack, loneliness, low self-esteem, etc. If you continually send out those vibrations – even if you don’t realize that you are doing it – all you will attract are more opportunities to continue to feel that way.
Law of Attraction Equivalent: If you want someone to love you, it is because you want to feel a certain way. You are likely looking for feelings of confidence, safety, nurturing, passion, happiness, and similar concepts. In order to bring those things into your life, you need to focus on those feelings. The LOA will then deliver opportunities for you to feel those things, although for the record, there is a very real chance that those opportunities will not be with the person that you tried to make love you.
You can’t force your children to Change
What parent wouldn’t want to just wave a magic wand and have their children suddenly start doing well in school, having good health and social relationships, and start building a great future for themselves? Ask yourself this, however: Is that what YOU want, or what the child wants?
Law of Attraction Equivalent: Once you get past your own selfish desires, if your goal is truly the happiness, health, and success of your children (for them, not for you), then that is what you need to focus on. By using the power of the LOA to benefit another human being, you will attract opportunities for that human being to benefit from your efforts. However, that individual needs to accept the opportunities that are presented to them. You can only lead them to the door; they have to open it.
You can’t make other people Understand
Most people who learn great things or become “enlightened” immediately want to start spreading the wealth. They want other people to know what they know, and by educating the masses, will be doing their part to make the world a better place. Here’s the thing, though: People will only attract the knowledge of better days and levels of enlightenment when they are ready to. The fact that you personally understand the LOA is completely irrelevant to someone who isn’t ready to learn about it.
Law of Attraction Equivalent: You are looking at an example of the LOA equivalent right now! I understand the Law of Attraction, so rather than going outside and grabbing people off the street, and then forcing them to sit down and learn about it, I just put my knowledge out there. I write these words with the sincere intention for them to be of good use to other people, and then I just send my words out into the world and release them. You can do exactly the same thing, whether that be via blogging, writing books, podcasting, praying, or even just sending out good thoughts to the world. Put the intention out there, and then let it go.
You can’t ignore Reality
If something that you consider negative happens, then it happens. Ignoring it will not make it go away. You can’t sit there on the side of the road after having run out of gas and say, “But how
did this happen? I was using the Law of Attraction to keep my gas tank full!”
Law of Attraction Equivalent: Again, it boils down to knowing when to take action. If you consistently use the LOA principles in order to always have plenty of gas in your car, then you will be presented with opportunities to do exactly that. They may come in a myriad of different forms, but I guarantee you that none of those forms will include watching your gas gauge plummet, yet doing nothing about it. Remember, it is all about knowing when to take action on the clues that the Law of Attraction puts before you.
You can’t attract what you don’t truly Want
This is a really tough one for a lot of people because everyone thinks that they know what they want, at least in a general sense. Here’s a newsflash for you, however, again compliments of James Arthur Ray: If you really wanted it, you would already have it! If your life right now includes a lack of financial abundance, a lack of career opportunities, continual bad relationships, etc., that is because deep down inside you are attracting those things, even if you aren’t consciously aware of doing so.
Law of Attraction Equivalent: It’s called “conscious creation” for a reason! You need to consistently focus on the things that you think you want, because by failing to do so, your subconscious will simply keep creating and recreating the scenarios that have led you to where you are right now. Unless you take the action of consciously focusing – consistently and passionately – on a life different than the one that you are presently leading, nothing will significantly change.
You can’t suspend Disbelief
If someone thinks that anything is possible with the Law of Attraction, so they jump off of a building and think that they can “attract” a miraculous rescue before they hit the ground, what do you think is going to happen? Although seemingly miraculous rescues are possible, the LOA did not work for that jumper because deep down inside – again referring to the subconscious – that person did not truly believe that someone or something was going to keep them from hitting the ground. So, of course, no miraculous rescue manifested itself.
Law of Attraction Equivalent: If you truly want to change your belief system about any given thing, then you need to do exactly that. Once again, we refer back to the fact that you have to consciously create the life that you want to be living. So, if you want to change your belief systems about anything from empty gas tanks to jumping off of buildings, you need to immerse yourself in the study of concepts that will allow you to reprogram beliefs that have likely been buried in your subconscious for decades.
You can’t do Nothing
I saved this one for last because I think that it sums up everything that has already been stated.
The Law of Attraction is not some mystical, “wave a magic wand” type of ability where you can just sit on your throne manifesting all of these wonderful people and experiences into your life. You must TAKE ACTION!
In addition, as with all methods of attaining our desires, we must take consistent action. One session of intense visualization, or reading through some affirmations once in awhile is not going to cut it. If you truly want to harness the universal power of the Law of Attraction, then you need to practice its principles on a regular basis, preferably every single day.
By sitting around and thinking that you can just “wish” your way to success, all you will do is cause yourself to believe less and less in the power of the Law of Attraction, which will in turn cause it to be less and less effective in your life.
Here’s the best part, though: All of the principles that are used to invoke the Law of Attraction will also serve to make a better life for you, even if you are not a believer. So if you know for a fact that you can improve your life, it costs little or nothing to do so, and no one else even needs to know that you are doing it, my only question is this:
Why wouldn’t you do that???
Great post. I have to agree with what you say. I saw James Arthur Ray live a few months ago and I thought the most important thing he said was that the LOA was just a part of the equation of the universe.
Hi Aaron, this is a great article on the Laws. Very good of you to point out the flip side.
In Spirit,
Nneka
Matt,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I have heard James Arthur Ray on several recent interviews and he said in each of them that the LOA was just part of the process.
He is so good at helping people to be effective and well-rounded in their ability to achieve happiness. He is coming to the area of Florida where I live in a few months and I am really looking forward to seeing him live!
Thanks, Nneka!
It is always good to look at both sides of any issue, but given the on-going debate about the Law of Attraction, I was especially motivated to clear the air.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, Nneka!
Quite right. Excellent list, Aaron.
A list like this is a gold-mine for a newbie to the LOA. If a person’s only education in LOA is having seen The Secret, this can help to fill in the gaps so many people have complained about.
Great job! (I wonder how many times you have heard that one)
Takuin
Takuin,
Thank you so much for the positive feedback, and I appreciate the comparison to ‘The Secret’. It is an excellent movie that I highly recommend, but at the same time a lot of people were left with some questions, and I’m truly grateful to be able to fill in some of those gaps.
As far as hearing that I’ve done a great job, although I personally have no interest in fame or glory, when I get positive feedback like that, it lets me know that I am helping people, which is the goal, so I do love to hear it – no matter how many times it happens!! 🙂
Thanks, Takuin!
I totally agree with Takuin. I know a lot of people who have The Secret as the only resource for the Law of Attraction. And they are left with a lot of questions, unnecessary cynicism or false beliefs.
This post is an excellent resource to debunk some of the myths and misconceptions. Especially the one about manufacturing money seems to be a persistent one.
And concerning people and change I choose to believe that people are able and willing to change, but refuse to be changed
yes, well – all this stuff is great – I have been practising visualization etc. for years and I also work damn hard at my painting – I still earn peanuts – so something about this stuff isn’t working especially the money part – wlil someone please tell me what I am doing wrong!
Cool list Aaron, a good place to send people who got confused or a bit carried away by ‘The Secret’.
Lodewijkvdb,
Yes, I agree that the financial aspect is definitely a high profile issue that needs to be addressed. In a classic bit of irony, however, the same abundant state of mind that will bring in extreme wealth will also bring in extreme happiness in everything else – it’s all about what you focus on!
As far as people not willing to be changed, the responsibility falls squarely into their own lap. Being willing to change and being able to change are all well and good, but unless you are also willing to do the work associated with that change, then it will never happen.
I think that is one of the reasons why there has been so much much confusion about the Law of Attraction because the general consensus was that no real effort would be needed, which, of course, is ridiculous. The effort may be different than what people are used to, but there is still a consistent effort that needs to be made!
Hey, Viv!
I know we’ve had emails back and forth, but it’s nice to see a comment from you here on the blog! 🙂
As far as what you are doing wrong, it is really not a matter of doing anything “wrong” or “right,” as those are simply points of view.
It is more a matter of the vibrations that you are sending out into the universe, and the things that you are attracting as a result.
Remember, we can’t attract what we don’t truly want. We tell the universe what we “want” by our feelings, which is one of the reasons why not everyone has success with visualizations and affirmations. If visualizing and affirming does not fill you up with the feelings of actually having what you are visualizing and affirming for, then you will meet with limited success.
If that helps, Viv, then go forth with that bit of knowledge and I’m sure you will be more successful. If you want some more information, just shoot me an email with some more details and I’ll help you out in any way that I can!
Chris,
Thanks for the positive feedback! I would VERY much like for this list to become a resource for those confused souls, so if you or anyone else comes across people who need some help, please do send them this way!
Oh, bless you my child! Great post and yes, should be required reading for all the “just believe and it will surely happen” folks out there. Unfortunately so many people are drawn to quick fixes and this is where books like The Secret have back-fired, creating a whole culture of people who focus on the “intentions” and visualizations and fall way short on the implementation and action end of things. Then, predictably falling short on the manifestation end of things they wonder why the Universe held out on them and go looking for more quick fix books to crack the nut.
I appreciate your voice of sanity in all this!
Laura,
Thanks for joining in the conversation and helping to keep the voice of sanity going! I love what you said about a culture of people who intend and visualize, but then don’t implement.
That is true not only in the LOA circles, but when it comes to goal setting in general. Even if the universe put an incredible and simple opportunity in front of someone, if they don’t get up and take action on that opportunity, then their lives will not change!
Aaron – Bravo, bud! Just like Laura said, thanks for the sanity. 🙂 So many of the things you listed are focused on changing things “out there”, which we cannot do directly. If we want our circumstances to change, we have to change what’s going on inside of ourselves.
Lyman,
Thanks so much for the thumbs up, and also for the GREAT way that you broke it all down into one sentence:
Why a great way to summarize what this post is all about – thanks, Lyman! 🙂
What a wonderful post, Aaron! Just the kind of thing I have come to expect from you. 😀
Oh, I forgot to add that the belief that we teach what we need to learn is not just from Ho’oponopono. 😉
This is why I turned my jewelry site into a blog – so that I can share what I know (and thus need to learn – or cement in my brain) and help others who are drawn to my writings.
Still, your post makes me think I really need to look more into Ho’oponopono – a little more deeply than the superficial investigation I made last year.
Thanks again!
Barb,
I’m glad you liked the post and thanks for taking the time to drop in your comments!
You hit the nail on the head about blogging. It helps the writers as well as the readers to not only learn something, but to cement that knowledge in place. Us humans tend to learn by repetition! 🙂
As far as Ho’oponopono, it is very cool stuff that really sends home the high level of responsibility that each and every person has over their lives.
Who’da thunk it? We’re each responsible for our own level of happiness! What a concept! ;)~
Aaron,
I just put the finishing touches on a free audio version of The Science of Getting Rich, and I really liked that both you and Wattles expressly made these important points, particularly about influencing other people and that LoA defines a lifestyle, not an activity.
Mike
Mike,
How totally awesome is it that you put together a free audio version of ‘The Science of Getting Rich’? That is very cool!
Very much obliged to you for making that effort, Mike, and I encourage everyone to take advantage of that resource – it is a truly life-changing book when you internalize the concepts!
Aaron;
Bravo! This is the stuff that needs to be said, and which no one ever bothers to say…as so many of your commenters noted The Secret is a wonderful introduction to the Law of Attraction, but needs follow-up study in order to internalize and use the concepts (effectively).
I actually believe that on some level, we CAN influence things and do literally ANYthing, but we are so far from that level of consciousness at the moment that we must work within the limitations of physicality and belief that we are now experiencing.
Let’s have fun with it! As I have said in many blog posts, ‘What could be more fun?’
Thanks, Aaron.
Shauna
Shauna,
Oh, this quote is SO worthy of being recognized as a present truth of our existence:
You nailed it! It isn’t about what we can do, because we can do anything. Rather, it is about what we believe we can do!
Until we – as individuals and as a whole – get further down the road to higher levels of consciousness, trying to work outside of our belief systems will only lead us to frustration and a lack of results.
Well put, Shauna!
Great article. Why do people miss out on the action part of The Secret? The Law of Attraction is not just “wishing” you had things. It takes action to achieve success in anything. If you listen to each of the authors of The Secret and their success stories, they didn’t just send a “wish” out to the Universe. Each of them worked hard to achieve the success that they have.
Patricia,
You are absolutely right! I have read books, articles, and blog posts, as well as seen and heard interviews with all of the teachers from the movie, and they all say that taking action is a necessary part of the process.
The Law of Attraction will bring an opportunity to you, and it may or may not require hard work, but it will require that you take action in order to take advantage of that opportunity.
Awesome, awesome post! I’m constantly going on and on to my clients and readers about these very things, but you summed them up fantastically. I love it.
Blessings,
Andrea
http://www.EmpoweredSoul.com
Thanks, Andrea!
I’m very grateful that you got so much out of this post, and I really appreciate the link back from your site.
I’m a big believer in the LOA, but I also know that it is not some “magical” force, and that I am still required to get off my butt and take action. I composed this post in order to help spread that message! 🙂
Edward,
Thanks for the endorsement of my post in this edition of the Law of Attraction carnival!
Also, this edition is packed with great content. That is awesome, and I highly recommend that anyone reading this gets over there to check it out. Here is the direct link:
Law of Attraction Carnival #24
Aaron,
Your are a modern day Moses, with your 10 commandments regarding LOA. Great post.
Thanks, Dr. Hal! I really appreciate the positive feedback, and who doesn’t like a good biblical reference every now and then?? 🙂
Hi Aaron,
Point no. 8 caught me by surprise when I went through it the frist time – ‘You can’t attract what you don’t truly want’. My first time through your article I read it as, “You can’t attract what you DON’T WANT” which doesn’t make sense to me. That’s because most people who focus on what they DON’T WANT usually get more of it.
When I read your article through a second time I began to see an alternate context. That being, ‘if you don’t truly want something bad enough to take action, then you will not get it’. That lines up with me…
Cheers,
Stephen Martile
Personal Development with NLP
http://www.stephenmartile.com
Aaron, how do you see this perspective fitting in with ho’oponopono? If we each are responsible for creating everything, then how do we suspend that responsibility and say that we can’t change it?
For example, if I created my arguing neighbors, why couldn’t I create happy neighbors? Or vice versa? Why wouldn’t I ALWAYS be responsible for what I experience? And why wouldn’t I always be able to re-create that? No matter what was involved?
It seems like a disconnect here. But I’m sure you’ve got this reconciled in your mind, and I’d love to hear it.
Jeannette Maw
Good Vibe Coach
http://loaplayground.blogspot.com
http://goodvibecoach.com
Everything is the manifestation and projection of the One and only Self.
Everything that you see and experience is created by the God-self. And so, when you the personality get aligned with the God-self’s intention, magic happens.
However the personality is afraid as it experiences the effects of the Doer (self). And so resistances build up.
Everything is a part of your universe, and everything is an enegy corridor. You don’t have to manipulate people, all you have to do is change energy corridors and the reality changes, and people’s actions also change.
So keep on climbing and changing and become ONE with the Self which knows everything, and all will fall into alignment by itself.
Love
Sugandhi
Stephen,
Yeah, I realized that one was a bit “off” until the reader focused on what was being said a bit more, which is why I left it worded that way. When we can’t just scan text, we have to really read it and think about it! 🙂
That statement, “You can’t attract what you don’t truly want” is really just a backwards way of saying that we tend to attract things that we think we don’t want, when it all actuality, we must want those things on some level, or we wouldn’t be allowing them into our existence.
Whether it’s money problems, relationship issues, job woes, etc., everything that is in our existence provides contrast, and sometimes – even if we don’t consciously realize it – we are asking for (and allowing) that contrast into our lives for some reason.
So, if we really wanted financial freedom, relationship happiness, career satisfaction, etc., we would have already asked for (and allowed) those things into our lives. If we don’t have 100% of what we want in those areas yet (and who does?), the question to be asked is, “Why am I allowing a lack of success in this area into my existence?”
It can be hard to get your head around, but it rings true when you think it out!
Jeannette,
Sheesh – why don’t you ask me something easy next time??? 😉
Actually, yes, I do have this reconciled in my mind, but many thanks for bringing up such a great question that requires a further understanding of our abilities!
As I’m sure you are aware (but for the benefit of others), the word Ho’oponopono roughly translated means “to fix things”. Whenever we see something in our lives that we don’t like, we can use Ho’oponopono to “clean” it, thereby making it go away, be repaired, morph into something better, etc.
However, in each of those instances, Ho’oponopono is used to take positive action with regard to something that already exists. In each of the examples that I gave above, the point of view was that of someone sitting down and saying “Can I have, do, or be {BLANK} with the Law of Attraction?”
The deliberate creators who want to use the Law of Attraction to bring something into their lives are using the LOA to manifest a desired result; they are not trying to use the LOA to fix a result that has already manifested itself, e.g. –
You can’t use the LOA to make your spouse into a different person, but you can use Ho’oponopono to “clean” that situation in order to make it into something better for you.
You can’t use the LOA to manifest a new car out of thin air, but you can use Ho’oponopono to “clean” the fact that you don’t have a new car, and as result, the already existing circumstances will be fixed or modified in a positive manner.
Long story short (yeah, right!), the Law of Attraction and Ho’oponopono go hand in hand, and I do not see a clear line in the sand that separates them. However, as a general rule, I would say that you can use the LOA to manifest something that you want by focusing on whatever it is, while Ho’oponopono is used to “clean” unwanted things out of your life.
A fine line, I know, but one that I think makes sense. That was a long answer, but it was a deep question! 🙂
Sugandhi,
Referring back to what Jeannette and I were just saying about Ho’oponopono, that belief system is based entirely on the fact that each of us does, in fact, create our entire reality. In order to fix something in our reality that we do not like, we make requests of “The Divine” (as some call it) to “clean” (fix) that situation.
As you indicated, as we become closer to becoming one with the higher self, the divine, whatever you want to call it, we are more able to consciously control our reality.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on that concept, Sugandhi!
Yeah, Aaron, that makes sense. I think Ho’oponopono is a great release technique (or cleaning agent, as we could call it), which allows us to be more effective with our deliberate creation efforts (removing obstacles and such).
Thanks for your response! It is a tough question, and you addressed it well.
Aaron,
Some great distinctions in here.
For me LOA is much more than deliberate conscious creation; it is a doorway to allowing people to live a life of freedom and joy. Rather than obsessing on manifesting circumstances to create happiness, the work I do with my clients and myself is about releasing beliefs and vibrations that don’t feel so crash hot in order to access the more natural and powerful state of happiness. It’s really about embracing the moment of ‘now’, whatever the circumstances, and finding peace in that.
Manifestation is the party trick of LOA! It’s fun to do, but it is only part of the greater journey – one of living a life of peace and joy. Obsessing over manifesting stuff only delays fulfillment.
Thanks for the great discussion!
Zoe
http://www.innercompass.com.au
http://zoerouth.blogspot.com
Zoe,
Welcome to the Today is that Day community! Always nice to see someone new chiming in to the conversation! 🙂
You are dead on accurate about the need for releasing beliefs. They are the more powerful force in our lives because it isn’t that difficult to conjure up a good vibration when you think about it, but it’s the rest of the time when our beliefs are doing the vibrating for us.
If that is your approach to working with your clients, then I have no doubt they see some great progress. Reprogramming our inner belief system is a short, direct path to attaining success.
Again, thanks for chiming in, Zoe!
Hello ,very interesting views.Things might be a bit more complicated though as human nature is unfathomable.I agree that you can’t force somebody to fall in love with you by using the LOA.However it has been my experience that if you use the LOA along with meditation and a serious observation of a person that interests you,by drawing some beneficial conclusions you can certainly improve your chances of driving home to them your importance and value as an individual and make them notice you in a better light and ultimately fall in love with you.
Thanks for the opportunity to express my ideas.
Benny,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and you touch on several concepts here. For one, by simply observing and focusing intensely on someone, as you indicated, it would certainly be a lot easier to get in their good graces. The question of whether or not that is a good way to start off a relationship, however, is a debate for another time.
In addition, by focusing on one person that much, you would consciously as well as subconsciously modify your own vibration so that it more closely matched the other person. In that respect, you would certainly create more of a magnetic attraction between you and that individual.
All of that being said, every time that I’ve fallen in love, it was pretty obvious to both of us right from the start. 🙂
Your article strongly resonates with my understanding of LoA. Law of attraction is a nice way of summarizing the elements that contribute to our development and growth, and this takes much work though it can be very enjoyable when you are not fighting against yourself. I like “You can't suspend Disbelief”. Maybe someone won't use LoA to manifest a rescue, but I bet they could use it to feel better about going splat.