Ah, waffling. Isn't it a wonderful word? I have no idea how the term came into existence, but it certainly does a great job of describing that specific state of mind.
You know, the one where you have 2 or more things that you want to do, but you keep going back and forth between deciding which course of action to pursue? In fact, professional "wafflers" won't just go back and forth, but they will actually start down one path, only to backpedal and decide to a take a few steps down a different path as well.
If you are truly proficient at waffling, you will continue this tragic two-step dance with your life, and in the process, you will accomplish a great many of the things on this list:
- You will waste an inordinate amount of time
- You will get a large amount of absolutely nothing done
- You will be emotionally distraught over your lack of ability to make a decision
- You will attain or take part in nothing, since you never actually commit
- You will annoy, confuse, and quite possibly alienate your friends and family members
- You will ultimately lose confidence in yourself, as everyone knows instinctively that successful people make decisions and stick to them
Now, unless you are a glutton for punishment, or you actually enjoy that type of chaos in your life, waffling doesn't conjure up thoughts of a lifestyle that most people would want to lead. For that matter, most people do not even want to be around wafflers.
So how do you stop waffling?
How do you decide on a course of action and then just make it happen?
How do you stop the chaos in your life and start marching confidently toward any given destination?
By realizing that none of this is permanent.
Whenever we waffle back and forth between two or more courses of action, it is simply because we are afraid that one of them will ultimately not make us happy. That might be on a short-term basis (Do I go to the beach today, or do I stay home and relax?), or it might be on a long-term basis (Do I buy that house on the beach, or do I save money and buy something further inland?).
Whether you are a short-term or a long-term waffler, by understanding that none of the decisions that you make are going to create permanent circumstances in your life, you release yourself from the need to always make the "right" decision. For example:
- If you can't decide whether to work for "ABC Company" or "XYZ Company," what's the worst that could happen? If you've got the skills/experience to work for either of those companies, then you can always change your mind later. There will always be another "golden opportunity," since these are things that we create for ourselves anyway.
- If you can't decide whether to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, just make a decision. If you 2 are really meant to be together, then all will work out in the end. And, if "the end" turns out to be you feeling like an idiot for blowing your chance at a long-term relationship with that person, then you are certainly now more prepared for the next time that type of decision comes before you.
- If you are considering purchasing a house, but the interest rates, property growth potential, etc., have you in a state of confusion about what to do, just make a decision. Go with your gut instinct, do what you truly want to do, and if it turns out that the decision wasn't the best one, then sell the house later. If you live there for a year or two, even if you lose $15,000 – $30,000, in the grand scheme of your life, that's just a drop in the bucket.
- If you can't decide whether or not go party with your friends downtown, or have a nice quiet evening at home, is this decision really that critical? There will always be other nights to party, or there will always be other nights to relax. Just make a decision, and then move on with your night – and your life.
- If you can't decide whether to wear the red dress to work, or the blue dress, again, in the grand scheme of things, who cares? You'll have to wait – what, another 24 hours before you can wear the other color?
In each of these examples, the moral of the story is that by waffling back and forth between either short-term or long-term decisions, all you are doing is creating confusion, uncertainty, and negativity in your life, and quite likely in the lives of others as well.
Just make a decision!
Remind yourself with Offline Merchandise!
Even if it's the wrong decision, you will always have the chance to try something else later on down the road. Besides, even if you never do get a second chance, wouldn't you rather confidently take charge of your life on a short-term and long-term basis, rather than spending it constantly wondering what the "right" thing to do is?
Stop waffling – start LIVING!
Related Content:
Waffling about your financial success in life? Check out these related posts:
Waffling! I love that word Aaron. Leave it to you to come up with the coolest stuff!
Thanks, Shama! Great to see you ’round these parts, as always, and who can’t crack a smile when they hear the word “waffling,” right? 🙂
Isn’t it that waffling also has its advantages? It is always better to think things through, rather than decide instantly. Following your instinct could be good, but it would sometimes lead you to a disaster. I think everything has its own advantage and disadvantages. We really have to be careful on the decisions we make.
Love & Gratitude,
Tina
Think Simple. Be Decisive.
Hey Arron. Great post, AND, it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I have waffled about on more than a few things lately, and reading something like this helps to put everything into perspective.
Decision making isn’t something that gets stronger if you ignore it. I have noticed that even if I make a decision on a mundane matter, for example – taking out the garbage, it strengthens the entirety of my decision making powers. It might sound silly, but it is true.
The important thing to remember is, you must be conscious that you are making a decision. “I have decided to do this, and I will see it through to the end.” That sort of thing. Every step in that direction can only make us stronger.
Thanks again.
Takuin
Hey, Tina!
By all means, we should think things through! This post was by no means meant to imply that we should go through life without making informed and educated decisions.
However, many people spend far too much time in the decision-making process. Yes, we should absolutely give decisions their due diligence, but that process should be brief and definitive. 🙂
Takuin,
You’re absolutely right, and it doesn’t sound silly at all! Every time we consciously decide to do something and we then follow through on what we said we would do, it strengthens our confidence that we’ll keep up that level of self-integrity when it comes to something more large-scale in our lives.
That’s a great point, Takuin – thanks for bringing it up!
Hi Aaron,
Great topic. I see this all the time as it relates to weight loss.
SO many people waste time when it comes to starting a weightloss plan or program. “Should I try Atkins or the abs diet or what exercise should I start out with running or biking?”
A month later they are still deciding and are still over weight.
I just found you site and I am very impressed so far.
Steve,
Welcome to the Today is that Day community, and thanks for the positive feedback!
During my time as a personal trainer I saw the type of waffling that you’re talking about on a regular basis. It was totally debilitating – not to mention unhealthy – for everyone who took part in that level of indecisiveness.
Find a good program, stick to it, and you’ll see results. That applies to weight loss, as well as life in general!
Aaron, I just wanted to let you know that one of my personal clients was in crisis yesterday and found two really helpful pieces with you – one was this Waffling piece the other was something she found on PDP.
And she didn’t even know I have the hots for you.
lol (Did I just blow my anonymity?)
Anyway, I wanted to thank you for all you make available so generously, and let you know that your reach is impressive. Namaste, friend.
Anonymous,
I can’t tell you how much I love to hear that my writing has truly helped people out! It really does make my day, and when part of that help came from PDP, that makes it so much the better, since my goal with that community is to make it a truly global resource that helps people out in many ways.
p.s. – Are we still on for dinner? Wear that hot red dress you told me about, k? LOL
Aaron – I am a waffler. I admit it. Thanks so much for this – I discovered it at a time when I really needed it.
Much love
Nina
Nina,
That’s great! I am so happy that you read this at a time when it provided some needed perspective! 🙂