No matter who you are or what you do, there will come a time in your life when you have the opportunity to tell the world in general to just take a long walk off of a short pier.
These moments are the crossroads in our lives when we decide to stop playing nice in the sandbox and we give a person, an organization, or an employer a very distinct message:
No. I am not willing to do that anymore.
Unfortunately for a lot of people, these opportunities come at a point in their lives when they lack the confidence to choose the path that will take them to where they truly want to go, rather than to the place where they feel they are supposed to go.
Inspired by the work of Donna Karlin’s Perspectives blog, and tagged by Alex Blackwell over at The Next 45 Years this post is about how each of us is empowered – and required – to take control of our lives at a crucial moment that will define everything that happens from that point forward.
For me, this concept resonates deeply because I have never been the “play nice in the sandbox” type. Not to insinuate that I’m a troublemaker, but rather that I am the type who will rock the boat just for the sake of doing things differently than everyone else…
I don’t believe in people doing things just because everyone else is doing those same things, and I’ve spent most of my life proving that fact every chance that I got.
High School
Yep, I dropped out of high school when I was a Junior. I didn’t believe in their system, I didn’t believe in most of their faculty, and I certainly didn’t believe in the ridiculous social structure that most high school kids lived by.
One day while on the way to my Economics class (which I despised), I made the decision that I was not going to allow this institution to define my life and my future anymore, and I not only walked right past my Economics classroom, but I kept right on walking right out the nearest exit.
Now, that does not mean that I don’t believe in education – quite to the contrary, actually. Not only did I go back and get my GED later, but I also took so many online classes, night courses, and seminars that I have literally lost count.
By getting educated on my own terms, I obtained the skills that I felt that I needed, and I used them to get the work that I wanted to do. I walked out of high school when I was 16, but that didn’t stop me from getting a job making more then $42,000 per year, and that wasn’t even counting the stock options.
Employment
That brings us to the next major point in my life when I did the very same thing and told the same employer that I just referred to that I wasn’t willing to play their game either.
I made plenty of money, had a beautiful office overlooking Puget Sound in downtown Seattle, WA, and I literally set my own schedule. Not only was my boss too mired in her own required duties to have the time or the desire to keep track of me, but as a result of my skills and my position, I was also able to make demands of the company that were met at almost every turn.
Nonetheless, when that company started the inevitable “downsizing” and reorganizing that most companies go through, I knew that it was time for me to leave my cushy job and my cushy paycheck behind. They wanted me to have more responsibilities, and to put in more hours each day, but they were not willing to compensate me financially in a way that matched the commitment that they wanted me to make to them.
I walked out that door as well, but that didn’t stop me from starting my own business where I was on track to make $100,000 per year before I left that behind as well.
Privately Owned Business
After leaving my hefty paycheck and my corner office behind, I ultimately moved to Florida and became a full-time personal trainer. After learning the ropes at a high profile gym, I started my own personal training business (appropriately named Aaron’s Personal Training), and I literally had more clients than I had time for.
At the height of my personal training career I was working from roughly 6:00am to between 8:00pm and 10:00pm, and I would have made over $100,000 that year if I had not stepped off that path as well.
Why? Because life is about living, and most successful personal trainers don’t live their lives. All they do is work, and their own personal needs, social lives, and often even their health suffer as a result of the insane schedules and long hours required of any successful trainer.
After the Dust Settled
How many people quit school, get an amazing job where they call the shots, quit that job, start a successful 6-figure per year business, and then walk away from all of that?
People like me who realize that the truth of existence is that we are here to enjoy our lives, not to work our fingers to the bone only to retire at 65 or 70 with nothing to show for it but a measly pension and maybe a gold watch.
No, I believe in being in control of my life, and in doing the things that I want to do. Freedom is wealth to me, and in that regard, I am one of the richest people that I know.
So, as you take a look around your life right now, ask yourself some hard questions:
- Do I have this job because I truly love what I do and would I do it even if I wasn’t getting paid?
- Am I in this relationship because I choose to be, not because I need this person or this situation?
- Is my level of health and fitness what I want it to be, or do I allow my health to be dictated by the circumstances of my life?
If you can’t answer those questions in a way that has your life on a glorious and joyful path of adventure, discovery, and happiness, then maybe it’s time you started thinking about telling certain people, organizations, or employers that your life is about you, not about them!
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GREAT stuff Aaron. I like your openess and sharing of your personal tale…we can all learn something from this article!
Wow you certainly know how to live Aaron. I can only aspire to be as free as you. You are indeed wealthy.
The world is a funny place… I just wrote an article about telling the world to take a hike in a different way, in your relationships rather than in general.
Thanks, Todd! I’ve found that by sharing the details of how I’ve practiced what I preach, that people tend to then become more empowered by what is possible for them in their own lives!
Thanks, Adam! Freedom is a wonderful feeling, and even though I still work hard every day towards my goals, I do it all on my terms, and it is indeed a great way to live! 🙂
Jason – good post. Relationships are one of the most common places where people tend to not take conscious control in order create the environment that is most enjoyable for them.
Excellent, excellent post! And you are one heck of a writer, kept me moving down just to find out what happened next 🙂
Things definitely go in cycles not just to us personally, but apparently to the ‘mass conscious.’ Recently, I’ve been having a ‘crisis’ of my own about my life and the way it is lived (offline not online, I love my online life!). Time is the one commodity you cannot get more of… so choosing how to use one’s time on this planet is crucial.
Your post today is inspirational and I thank you!
Aaron,
Your post brings a quote from Emerson’s essay Self-Reliance to mind:
Keep doin’ it your way. Live!
This post is right up my pathway! I especially like the entire “take a hike” idea. You managed to keep the idea simple, professional, personable, and yes… even if I weren’t getting paid I would still be doing what I’m doing. 😛
I love the way you have lived your life. Mine is similar. However, just having a problem getting rolling for the 3rd time. Having told the world that it their time to spin and not mine is really freeing and uplifting. No one to control you or what you do!
yahoo! Keep it rolling…
Theresa,
Thank you so very much for the positive feedback on my writing and about this post. I am truly grateful to have inspired you, and here is to you using your most precious commodity in whatever ways best suit you!
Thanks for sharing that great quote, Steve! That is awesome stuff and worth remembering on a daily basis!
For some reason, it seems to be really easy to let relationships shift into autopilot, which usually ends up with a much less satisfying result than taking it manual.
Angela,
Thanks for the great feedback, and it is awesome to hear from someone else who is doing what they truly want to be doing. Keep leading by example. Angela!
Linda,
You nailed it:
That is the way to live life – in our own way and in our own time! 🙂
That’s exactly right, Jason. A good relationship isn’t a constant effort, but it is constant attention. When the relationship is strong, the attention is gladly given!
That is great stuff and i hope more people reallize that the right education and a job for 50 years is not the answer just like you said. I know people that come from prison and have made tons of money starting there own business, one has a gameing company and the other has his own sales for hospital suplies. I have never even been to jail but i am really good for learning from other peoples mistakes and thats what lead me to where i am today. http://www.viptotalaccess.com
Thanks for sharing Aaron. Been there done that I worked for a company for 11 years 80 hours a week
rotating shifts on top of that.I made plenty of money
but had no relationship with my family.I made a decision like you did and was not going to let that company control my life.I went out on faith started
my on business over a year ago.I now love what I do,
I have a great relationship with my family,and I’m
in great health.
Aaron, I love how you colored outside the lines to create a life you love. Seems like all too often we buy into how we’ve always thought everything had to be. But when those phony limits are lifted, the options become practically endless. Very inspirational story – thanks for sharing it.
Funny, too – I recently heard a quote saying something along the lines of school being the only thing in life that hasn’t changed a bit in hundreds of years.
Dana,
I’ve talked many times about how even the prospect of a job lasting 50 years these days is rare. That just sheds even more light on the fact that people should have jobs that they actual enjoy doing!
Michael,
It’s all about the balance. A great job or a great family life are wonderful, but if any one area of our lives consistently outweighs the others, then our happiness ultimately suffers.
James Arthur Ray calls that concept “Harmonic Wealth” and I’d say that is as good a name as any!
Sue,
Wow, this is awesome stuff:
“…when those phony limits are lifted, the options become practically endless…”
That’s exactly the way it is. The limits are definitely phony, yet our power to create wonderful lives is indeed endless!
As far as school not changing in so long, I would definitely believe that. Considering how much the world has changed, a centuries old educational system most definitely needs an overhaul.
Fantastic post! I did the same thing, only waited much longer than you did I think. I worked for a company, working 70-80 hrs a week making good money, for 20 years. Finally I realized I was “selling my soul” every day I was there. So I quit! Amazing how used a person can get to waking up when they want to and going to bed when they want! So now nearly 20 years later, I am publishing an online ezine, and I LOVE it! Strange that they don’t bother to teach this type of freedom in schools isn’t it — 😉 To anyone who is contemplating this type of freedom, you won’t be sorry!
Portia
Aaron I found this post very inspiring!
Unlike you, I had the tendency to stay longer at jobs, relationships and everything else longer than I should have. It takes great courage to know when it’s time to move on.
I’ve improve over the years but I wonder how much valuable time was lost.
Aaron, I always love the way you write. It speaks of authority, but at the same time, can be quite heartwarming! Most importantly, it’s addictive! I strongly strongly attest to what you say. When I first made the decision to quit my cushy job to write full-time, it was not without anxiety. But that move made me realize something. I should’ve done it earlier … haha! I’m enjoying life now… even though I earning much lesser than I used to.
Don’t have regrets. Live life the way you wanted because no one is responsible for it. Except yourself.
Cheers,
Ellesse
Thanks for sharing such an inspiring post about your journey. It reminds me of a quote from Tim Feriss’s book “Beg for forgiveness, don’t ask for permission.” Here is to your continued “freedom”
Wow, does this hit home. I was one person that hit the crossroads and left my JOB after 15 years – I needed to do what I felt was right and work for myself. I’m successful and believe in myself. I should have done this sooner, but as the article said, we’re either too scared or just stuck in the social reform of life.
Aaron,
I feel I know you so much better after reading this article. I loved it! I also loved economics, though, so I don’t know what that means 🙂
Peter
Aaron,
I really loved the part where you say “Freedom is wealth”. I’ve been free from the corporate world for a little over a year and I’m so thrilled, like you, to be living a life I’ve always dreamed about 😉
Aaron:
You and I have something in common – we both quit lucrative jobs to pursue our heart’s desires! So we’re buddies in spirit. 🙂
One thing that jumped out at me was the question,are you in this relationship because you choose it or because you have to. There is someone in my life that I am in a business relationship with and in the back of my mind I’m thinking I need her but I’m not so sure I do because I haven’t yet seen any results.
Good food for thought. Thanks.
it is always refreshing when someone speaks their truth. the decisions you made took courage and thought. you made choices and that is what is important. you were the actor in your life and not a reactor. it makes a big difference who is really in your life, others, outsiders telling you who to be and what to do or you just being yourself.
I am really moved by this post and inspired. Thank you for sharing such intimate details. I feel myself on the verge of making big decisions in my life and you have certainly given me a big wake up call – one that says it’s time to stop “playing in the sandbox” as you say. Thank you for the motivation – you must have been a phenomenal personal trainer 🙂
Portia,
Thank you so much for sharing your success story!
It is my sincere desire that they do ultimately start teaching this type of thinking in school. It will radically change the shape of not only the educational world, but the workforce as well.
Here’s to those changing times! 🙂
I bet you like those Wendy’s commercials, Aaron, where the guy in the red pigtails takes his stand in different situations!
I love this reminder to take our steps consciously and deliberately rather than going with the status quo. It’s so much more fun to be who we really are!
Zoe,
I don’t believe that any time is ever actually “lost”. Yes, there were instances when we could have done things in a way that more closely resembled our present point of view, or our present goals, but each of those times gave us the knowledge that we now have to see very clearly what we want.
The tag line for my personal training business use to be It’s never too late! It never IS too late, as long as we are willing to make each future moment what we want it to be!
Ellesse,
You are absolutely correct, and thank you so much for sharing your story.
In the end, whether we are on our deathbed having lived for 100 years, or if we step outside of our house and get hit by a bus tomorrow, the only person who will ultimately have been responsible for our level of happiness is ourselves.
That’s a lot of responsibility, and my advice to people is to use that power to enjoy our time here on the big blue marble. As you indicated, each of us is solely. responsible for whether or not that happens!
Tezza,
Thanks for sharing that quote, and for the endorsement of the joy of Freedom. In the end freedom to be happy is what we are all looking for! 🙂
Dale,
It’s scary how easy it can be to let our fear keep us rooted to a spot that we don’t even want to be standing at.
As is often (always?) the case, however, when we face down our fears, we regain control of our lives, and we can then use that control to run our lives in the way that we see fit!
Peter,
I have found that as I go through life, my interest in many things has changed, and although Economics is still not a high interest thing for me, at least from this point of view I can see how that type of knowledge can be put to use.
Back then, however, that class was like a cage for me, and it represented so many of the things that I didn’t enjoy about school. When I decided to walk out of school, walking right past that classroom brought me great joy! 🙂
Maria,
Congratulations on your freedom from the corporate world!
I remember when I told my girlfriend at the time that I was leaving that job, she thought I was crazy. I referred her to the line in the song Dust in the Wind that inspired my entire thought process:
That is as true today as it was back then!
Stephen,
I have no problems whatsoever being buddies in spirit with someone of your character! 🙂
As far as your business relationship, I’m truly grateful to have given you some food for thought. I think that if you listen to your instincts, you’ll have your answer!
Marcia,
I love that reference – being an actor or a reactor. That is awesome!
As a general rule, we do tend to be reactors in our own lives, and that just doesn’t make sense. I mean, it is OUR life, so why would we let other people’s circumstances dictate what WE want or do??
Thanks for sharing, Marcia!
Chrissy,
Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I am truly grateful to have helped inspire you in any way!
You are in a great place right now as you consider the big decisions in your life, so I’m glad that the wake up call came when it did. Go forward with your best interests in mind, Chrissy, and I promise you that you’ll be glad you did!
Jeannette,
I actually have a wig with those red pigtails on it, and I act out those commercials when no one else is home during the day. The cats look at me funny, but hey, they can’t talk, so who are they going to tell?? 😉
And you are 100% correct – it is SO much more fun to be who we really are. As Mike Dooley points out in one of his recent Notes from the Universe – that is what people attracted us into their lives for to begin with!
Great post. Too many people get caught up in the everyday grind, doing things they THINK makes them happy – instead of spending time with positive people, in positive places, doing the things they’re interested in using the strengths they have. Way to go to take control and be TRULY wealthy.
Aaron,
Thanks for participating in this challenge. Your story is very inspiring. I’m still the guy in the corner office, looking to make that final break in order to have more control in my life. Thank you for showing it’s possible.
Alex
The people who can look beyond the existing system are the ones who (eventually) cause it to evolve.
Glen,
You are absolutely correct! The old saying is so very true:
If nothing changes, then nothing changes
I prefer to be on the side of Change, rather than playing the conformity card, and I do my best to encourage others to do the same!