Have you ever heard that phrase “The more things change, the more they stay the same”? What a bunch of crap! There are 2 main reasons why phrases like that exist, and neither one holds water.
The truth of the matter is that in order for change to occur – on both an individual scale, as well as a global scale – holding on to the way things “used to be” is a recipe for nothing but a modern-day remake of the same mistakes that we have already made in our lives, and on our planet.
If we want true, lasting change to occur, then we must realize that change means change, it does not mean wrapping the old life up in a new package and then presenting it again as if it’s all new. It’s like that ridiculous advertising slogan “New and Improved”. Something can’t be new AND improved – it has to be one or the other!
Nostalgia for Days gone By
One of the biggest reasons why people cling to their old patterns despite an innate need to move forward is nothing more complex than that wonderful emotion of nostalgia.
Our lives, no matter how hectic or chaotic they may be, are filled with “sweet spots” that are permanently ingrained in our memories and on our hearts. We remember “back when,” or “that time when,” or “how it used to be”.
Those memories and the emotions that they invoke are wonderful, and to forget or bury them would be nothing less than criminal. However, living from them is just as much of a crime! Your glory days from the past are just that – in the past. No matter how wonderful those days were, they are gone now, and you need to come to terms with that.
You should cherish your past, and learn from your past, and apply what your past has taught you, but your life will never move forward if you are hooked on “the good ol’ days”. Recognize your past for its positive aspects, utilize the contrast from the negative aspects as a marker for what to avoid in the future, and then let it all go.
Your past – no matter how powerful it may be – is gone. An exponentially more powerful and more glorious future, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought and a commitment away.
A Comfort Zone that needs to be Broken out Of
The other main reason why people tend to color their futures with the hues of their past is simply the fact that they are used to doing things that way.
I’m not talking about the standard self improvement dogma about getting outside of your comfort zone – we’ve all heard that one a thousand times. No, I am talking about the fact that people simply don’t do what it takes to create and maintain new habits that cause their lives to be significantly different than they have been in the past.
Each of us is guilty of it on some level or other, but we don’t realize our guilt because we are so used to doing things that way that it feels natural to us. Just because something feels natural does NOT mean that it should be a part of your life!
When I was a kid, I lived one quarter mile from a very busy set of railroad tracks. Those trains were very loud, and they came through many, many times every day and every night. After a few years, though, I stopped hearing them. They became such a natural background noise that I didn’t even consciously hear them anymore.
Just because I got used to living close to the train tracks does not mean that I would want to live there again!
Our ability to get used to something – even something challenging or difficult – does not automatically mean that we should make that thing a part of our lives. If our habits – no matter how steeped in antiquity they may be – do not take our lives in the direction that we want to go, then those habits need to fall by the wayside.
I have used the term “if nothing changes, then nothing changes” in so many of my writings that I have literally lost count. I don’t keep repeating it because it sounds cool, but rather because it is the truth of our existence.
The more things change, the more they stay the same? I call B.S.!! The more things change, the more they NEED to change.
Anything less is just a carbon copy that is getting more and more faded the more times you copy it.
I actually disagree with the saying if nothing changes, nothing changes. If nothing changes things get worse imho. We can’t live in inertia we have to be moving either forward or backwards.
If you’re not growing you’re dying and that is a fact of nature. Our comfort zone starts to contract if we’re not pushing at the edges all the time.
I minor quibble though Aaron because I fully concur with the sentiments of what you have to say, good post!
Woohoo!
As usual, great post Aaron. It’s always great to see someone speak the naked truth.
One can tell by their reaction, I believe, how much of an issue a certain topic is in their lives. You know….either that guilty feeling or perhaps anger or resentment at the writer.
In my case, I really enjoyed your article and found myself agreeing with your points, as well as pondering them. This, to me, as a good sign that I am doing well and also that I am open to even more…I am particularly interested in any habits I may be clinging to which are no longer serving me. This will require some deeper honesty and introspection. Many thanks for the reminder, as while this may be uncomfortable, it is the only way to change…and as we all know, not only is change inevitable it is also the way we grow.
Shauna
P.S. I hope you are all enjoying your new home to the max! 🙂
I love your story about living by the railroad tracks. For one summer I live 1/2 block from the El tracks in Chicago. By the end of the summer, I learned to sleep through the train noise, but when I moved to a new apartment, I definitely appreciated the absence of the noise.
How many times do we just “get used to” something negative and that keeps us from changing it?
Hi Aaron,
Thanks for this great post,
Change is something I believe that when we embrace it with open arms . things improve and we move forward. It is sad when people get stuck and choose not to move/
Dear Aaron,
“A more glorious future is nothing but a thought and a commitment away” (A. Potts)
This is my new “personalized line” at my Messenger from today on. It is already there. Thank you for the inspiration!
Your article reinforces my self-confidence, as I am going through the transition from my 9-5 “secure” job to my self-employment. I’ve promised to stay at my very soon ex-job until Aug. 31st, that is only 16 days away.
For 20 years I’ve worked as an employee. This move is definitely getting out of the comfort zone, is definitely changing, is definitely taking steps I’ve not taken before in order to have a more glorious future, which I’ve already thought and keep thinking and with which I’m 100% committed.
Change is growth in itself. Improvement or not, there’s always a lesson and we are richer after we have a new experience.
People who don’t want to change are enjoying what they have, either positive or negative.
One of the good things about this world is that we don’t all want the same things!
You always lead with the example and that is awesome to witness! Congrats once again on your change and here is to your more glorious future!
Thanks,
Patricia
Good luck in your endeavor. I tried to change many things in my life and was only partially successful.
I saw that slow, gradual change worked best with me. Unfortunately, this change could be undone quite fast, in some sudden way. It is a hard but noble quest.
I love the title “The more things change the More they need to change” yes, we have been fooled into thinking when you change something you are done. Nature is always advancing that is what is called progress when you get to the next level there is always a next level, so things never stay the same. Thanks for sharing.
-Tabs