Okay, by a show of hands, how many people watched ‘The Secret’ or learned about the Law of Attraction in some other way and got very excited about the fact that they might be able to cure their relationship woes with this wonderful law?
Now, again with a show of hands, how many people have succeeded in doing so?
Hmmmm…I don’t see a lot of hands going up. Why is that, do you think?
Well, for starters, you can’t use the laws of the universe to work “magic”. Yes, it may seem like magic when the synchronicities and “coincidences” are piling up left and right, but it’s not magic, and you can’t use it to put a spell on anyone.
Sorry.
However, you can apply the use of the Law of Attraction to your relationship in order to achieve some positive results, so let’s put down the magic wand and focus on that instead.The first question to ask yourself – and don’t take this the wrong way – but do you even want to save your relationship?
Many people who start dropping negativity out of their lives and who start to practice the art of conscious creation find that they are no longer compatible with some of the people from their past.
I am not saying that everyone who considers the use of the Law of Attraction as part of their lifestyle needs to start from scratch with all new friends and lovers. However, it is a very real truth that not everyone is willing to live the LOA lifestyle.
Most of us have been surrounded by negativity for so long that whenever we first start to give up on the old habits, we suddenly no longer have anything in common with some of the people around us!
Whether it’s your own household, the homes of your friends and relatives, your place of business, or even your local church – there are negative habits being carried on every day by hundreds of people around you.
So, before delving into the relationship-saving aspects of the Law of Attraction, I would be remiss in my duties by not pointing out that if you truly embrace the LOA principles, there is a very real chance that some people are going to fall by the wayside – and your significant other might be one of them.
Okay, assuming that you have decided that you do want to keep your mate, let us now address what your options are when applying the Law of Attraction to your relationship.
For starters, you need to understand that you cannot control the reality of another person. Even though each of us is connected in the big picture, you cannot simply “manifest” a certain type of behavior that you want to see from someone else.
However, when you realize that the very relationship that you are trying to save has had exactly 2 primary participants – one of them being you – then you will also realize that you are holding exactly one of only 2 cards that are on the playing table.
That being the case, knowing that you can’t consciously make the person who is holding the other card act in a certain way, who does that leave in charge of saving of the relationship?
Yep – you.
Are you in charge of saving the relationship because you have unfairly been handed all of the responsibility? No, not at all. However, as the person who is trying to save the relationship, you have the right to decide what you are willing to have in your life and what you are not.
So, as you start to practice forward-thinking processes such as affirmations and visualization, as you consciously limit your use of negative language and tones of voice, as you start to learn how to control your own emotional reactions to life, and as you start to make consistent efforts at doing what you perceive to be “positive” acts, one of two things is going to happen.
1) Your significant other is either going to adopt similar characteristics in response to your new behavior patterns, or
2) They won’t.
Whether or not they believe in the Law of Attraction is completely irrelevant. A relationship has always been made up of 2 people who are willing to make compromises in order to be with each other, and your significant other’s belief level might not even enter into the equation.
All that matters is whether or not your partner is willing to respect your beliefs, and if they are willing to make compromises based on those beliefs. Those compromises might include them adopting some of the same principles for use in their own life, or they may not.
The only question that you have to ask yourself is if you are willing to live with how your significant other decides to deal with the situation.
If they respect you and if they also want the relationship to continue, then they will very likely be willing to make some compromises in order to honor your beliefs.
Since both of you came into the relationship with certain habits and certain belief systems, you must recognize that if you have started to believe in and use the Law of Attraction, it is you who has changed the conditions of the relationship, not your partner.
The question of which of you is “right” or “wrong” about how to look at life is not even a reasonable question. Right and wrong only exist as compared to each other, and they only exist as each individual person perceives them.
Your partner is not “wrong” if they refuse to live a life based on being positive, and you are not “right” because you choose to do so. The very act of trying to say which person in a relationship is right or wrong goes against the very LOA principles that you are trying so hard to uphold!
Remember, your job is not to manifest actual events, circumstances, or conversations that will save your relationship. Your job is to manifest the feelings that you want to have about your relationship.
It is not possible for you to attract behavior from another person that will cause you to feel the way that you want to feel. Behavior itself is just action. You are the only person who can decide if the actions that you witness cause you to feel the way that you want to feel.
If your partner’s actions are not in alignment with your desires, and you do not enjoy your emotional reaction to those actions, it is up to you to decide whether or not you are willing to stay in that situation.
So, can you use the Law of Attraction to save a relationship with a particular person? That depends on the person, and it also depends on how effective you are at allowing the flow of energy that will bring you the feelings that you want to have surrounding that person.
Your positive behavior and your allowing of positive energy will likely have a very positive effect on your partner, and it is likely that your partner will reciprocate your efforts, thus making your relationship stronger than it has ever been before.
However, all of that being said, do remain aware of the possibility that the “dream relationship” that you manifest with the Law of Attraction may or may not be with the person who is already in your life!
Hi Aaron
This is an excellent post! And so true. As I have fully embraced the path of Deliberate Creation I have watched people fall away from my life and I have explored this tender subject with many of my clients and workshop participants. As you move up the vibrational scale, some of the people in your circles will not be willing or able to make that move with you.
I’ve got a little quibble with your use of the term “saving your relationship.” I think I’ll address that in a post over at ET. Watch for it next week.
Edward,
I imagine that it is a touchy subject for your clients, but I’m sure that you do a great job of handling it.
As far as the debate about my terminology, bring it on! I can’t wait to read what you’ve got to say about it! 🙂
Similar concepts and ponderings about relationships are at another great blog https://blog.breathingprosperity.com/. Without a doubt, relationships begin with YOU. They were great to start with (I assume) so if you are 50% of the relationship then your are 50% responsible.
Equally, when we start labeling things “right” and “wrong” we can get into hot water especially when different perspectives are involved. Remember it was “wrong” the think the world was anything but flat at one time.
Law of Attraction DOES work for relationships but be aware of what we label as “duties” or “expectations” on our relationships. That’s when we skew “reality”.
As a side note on Law of Attraction, Ed (the previous commenter) made a note on “The Opus”. Its a law of attraction movie that has bigger expectations than The Secret.
You can get the link from my blog (also on Law of Attraction) 🙂
Jon,
Thanks for joining the conversation! Yes, Breathing Prosperity is a great blog for talking about abundance and the LOA. I had previously put a comment on the post that you referred to above.
As far as ‘The Opus’, I checked out the site the other day and I am interested to see how it turns out. Although there are some of the same people from the original movie, there are plenty of new folks as well, and the “feel” of the movie is certainly a lot different.
Should be interesting to see how it all comes together!
I saw the Opus and I loved it. In fact, I think it was more vaulable than The Secret. I think the people from the secret who were involved in this film actually were a lot more deep and had better stuff to say. If you haven’t seen it, it is definitely worth checking out.
Paul,
Thanks a bunch for giving us some more details about The Opus. I’m sure it is definitely worth taking the time to sit down and watch.
I believe this to be inevitable. As we change and grow others in our life will stay the same. As we change our circle of friends needs to change as well.
I believe this to be inevitable. As we change and grow others in our life will stay the same. As we change our circle of friends needs to change as well.
I believe as long as we can show our partner that our change makes us better from day to day, he/she sooner or later will be willing to adopt our new view of life.