If the goal is to avoid eternal damnation, and going to church every Sunday is the tool for doing that, then those are 2 entirely different things, aren’t they?
If the Big Messiah comes strolling into town and convinces the Mayor that all citizens can avoid the pits of eternal suffering by attending a 2-hour church session every Sunday, and the Mayor makes it a law that everyone has to do so, there are two very distinct things going on. One of them is the mission itself – avoiding eternal suffering – while the other is the tool with which that avoidance is realized – going to church every Sunday.
When it comes to self improvement, whether that be on a personal level, a business level, or a relationship level – this same separation of church and state clearly needs to exist. However, most people blur the lines between the mission they are on and the tools that they use, and the end result is often a state of anarchy where neither the accomplishment of the mission nor the effective use of the tools ever seems to happen.
Business
If you are in the business of selling fishing poles, is it your mission to make the best fishing pole ever so that you become wildly successful? Most people would say, “Yes, that is a good idea”.
Survey Says: NO
Your mission is for your customers to have the best fishing experience possible by using your products and services.
By always keeping in mind that your goal is for your customers to have the best fishing experience ever, you will constantly be thinking of or discovering ways to make that happen, and your customers will keep coming back to you over and over again. Your loyalty to what your customers want – the best fishing experience ever – will cause them to have that same loyalty to you whenever they are looking for that experience.
On the other hand, if you just try to make the best fishing pole ever, you will be instantly unseated as the reigning leader in your industry by the simple act of someone else coming up with a better fishing pole. Yikes.
Relationships
If your goal is to find your “soul mate,” then having as many resources available for doing so would seem to be in order. Online dating sites, singles bars or clubs, your gym, even your work place are all tools that you could use to find your Mr. or Mrs. Right. Nothing wrong with using all or some of those tools, to be sure, but is access to those tools going to ensure your success?
Survey Says: NO
Your mission is not to have the option of using dating or social situations in order to find that soul mate. Dating and social situations are tools. Your job is to become the kind of person who is worthy of the soul mate that you seek, and you will very likely find that soul mate without even using any of the tools listed earlier.
By allowing yourself to consistently exhibit the personality traits that will attract that man or woman of your dreams, then you will reserve the right to act surprised when that person simply lands in your lap. Remember the golden rule (look up!) – Success is Something you Attract by the Person you Become.
Health
Oh, we are all familiar with the tools of the trade when it comes to health and fitness, aren’t we? Let’s find out if gym memberships, diets, workout DVD’s, yoga classes, and extreme nutritional lifestyles are going to guarantee success:
Survey Says: NO
Why? Because all of those things are tools. If you are not honestly interested in living a healthy lifestyle, and if you are not honestly healthy in your head, then your shiny new gym membership card, your vegetable juicer, and your library of “The Last Diet Book You’ll Ever Need” books are nothing more than false advertising.
Focus on your goal, not the tools that may or may not take you to that goal. Remember, your mission is to lead a healthy lifestyle that you actually ENJOY, not to feel like a slave to health whose eating and exercise habits are so extreme that you’re in great shape, but you have forgotten how to have fun in the process.
As always, the examples that I have given are just that – examples. You can look at your own life right now and decide if you have blurred the lines between church and state by simply looking at your results.
Whether it is your own success that you are after, or the happiness and success of your friends, family, or customers, if you are not getting the job done, maybe it’s time to refocus on the end result, and stop worrying so much about the tricks of the trade.
By the way, I follow these guidelines myself, and it is very apparent when I am asked, “What do you do for a living?”:
I am in the business of teaching people to lead happier and more fulfilling lives.
That is the mission, and things such as this blog, Personal Development Partners, and the Wealth Creation for Superior Living podcast are the tools that I use for accomplishing that mission.
See the difference?
This post inspired by a discussion of the book Meatball Sundae by Seth Godin.
Excellent metaphor Aaron. My life can be very blurry at times. Sometimes its better to focus on the “what,” and let the “how” just take care of itself.
Ah.. It’s back to USP, root desire, isn’t it? And thanks for introducing such great tools. It’s a window to learning more about ourselves.
Cheers
Ellesse
Excellent points taught in compelling stories. It’s all about the goal of the other party. Right.
This is great advice, Aaron. Separate the end from the means, the goal from the tactics.
This is exactly what you talk about in your Energy Harmonics teachings, which I’ve been learning a great deal from. It’s tricky to think about a goal without thinking about the obstacles in the way, but the more positive my visualizations are, the easier it becomes.