Almost from the cradle, people are conditioned to strive not for what they actually want, but rather for whatever their local culture believes is possible for them.
What kind of self-replicating, culturally limiting crap is that?
Just because the people who have come before you lived their lives by a certain set of rules has absolutely nothing to do with what YOU are capable of.
The “rules” that any given society lives by are simply manifestations of the beliefs that are held by the members of that society. When the members change their beliefs, the entire society will then change its beliefs.
The only cultural “norms” are whatever any given culture believes those norms to be.
- If you believe that you have to get a good education and then land a good job in order to ensure your success, you will do whatever it takes to do exactly that. Forget the fact that many of today’s millionaires never even finished high school, let alone got a college education.
- If you believe that only “good” or “lucky” people are allowed to have success, then your entire life will revolve around proving that to be true. If you don’t think of yourself as one of those people, does that mean that you are doomed to poverty and despair? Why is it then, that there is also a very common belief that people who have money are BAD people?
- If you believe that you have to practice a certain religion in order ensure your success and happiness, you’ll jump through hoops to prove yourself (or your congregation) right. Forget the fact that poor, unhealthy, and unhappy people stay that way despite praying to their God every single day, or that people who are commonly considered “sinners” are living a life of abundance and opulence, while praying to no one.
- If self-sacrifice is a key cornerstone of your values, you’ll spend your entire life sacrificing your own desires, while constantly giving to others. Why is it then, that the most successful people in the world followed their passions, and that is why they became so successful?
The truth of the matter is that people who ignore the rules are the people who achieve the most success and fulfillment.
Yes, these people still work within certain “guidelines,” and they map a general route based on expected societal reactions. They also consider their potential success based on the beliefs of the rest of the world, while they themselves break out of the mold in order to be successful.
- They recognize and respect authority insofar as it suits their needs.
- They engage in certain “standard” practices as long as those practices are on their route to success.
- They “play along” only in ways that allow them to still be ultimately in control of the game.
However, in the end, they deliver – via word or action – one solid message:
I am going to do this MY way, and I neither need nor desire your approval, nor do I care about how things have been done in the past.
Does that make them outcasts?
Does that cause them to be persecuted?
Does that cause them to be ridiculed?
In many cases, yes. Successful people become successful because they rock the boat, and society in general does not like boat rockers.
Ask yourself this, however:
Would you rather live to be 100 years old, and be remembered for nothing more than living to be 100, or would you rather live to only be 50, but have left a legacy that would teach and empower millions of people long after you were gone?
Personally, I choose the legacy.
But, hey – that’s just me. I’m a boat rocker.
What about you?
Great article on how not to be just status quo and to be spectacular. It reminds me allot of the book by Bill Strickland and his march to a victorious life. If you have not read his book Make the Impossible Possible be sure to go get a copy today. It is one of the most inspiring books I have ever read.
http://www.JuiceofChampions.com
Brad,
Glad that you liked the post, and thanks for the book recommendation! I will go check it out on Amazon.
p.s. – I love the word “spectacular”! 🙂
I love this post and relate so well to it. often happiest when I am walking a different path
Learn the rules, then break some . . .
ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS believe in yourself, your abilities, your talents and your ideas.
Realize that while you have to function in the normal world, you don’t have to be completely normal.
Mr. Positioning
Stanley F. Bronstein
Attorney, CPA, Author & Professional Speaker
Suzie,
I’m the same way. Even if I am in a position that some people might enjoy, I get restless if I am too close to the beaten path!
Stanley,
Much obliged for your comment. I especially liked this part:
That’s awesome. Thanks for participating in the conversation, Stanley!
Outstanding post! I will add that language and social conventions act as chains on the potential of people. Everything begins with self-acquaintance. If we do not know ourselves then we are likely following in the path of someone or something else along with the rest of “the herd.”
To keep my comment brief, I would say that one way to find our own path and break some of the language and social convention “chains” is to simply define words for ourselves: Some words to begin with are success, wealth, happiness, freedom, and retirement…
If we ask ourselves to define any of those words quickly, the route of the definition is likely to be societal norms and conventions… If we think for a few moments and arrive at our own definitions, then we will be headed in the right direction…
“Man acts as though he were the shaper and master of language, while in fact language remains the master of man.” ~ Martin Heidegger
Philosopher,
Thanks for the great comment, and for sharing that quote from Martin Heidegger – that’s awesome stuff.
I also like what you said about defining ourselves, and I have touched on that concept in that past as well, only from the other side. Rather than defining who we ARE, we can also define who we are NOT, and then just act accordingly.
Again, great stuff, and thanks!
As Kennedy said:
“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.”
That’s an awesome quote, Cooltoonist. Thanks for sharing it!
AMEN TO THIS POST!
“To escape the straightjacket of conventional thinking, you have to be able to distinguish between beliefs that describe the world as it is, and beliefs that describe the world as it is and must forever remain.”
Jorge,
What a great way to put it – the straightjacket of conventional thinking. So many people are bound in exactly that manner!
Thanks for sharing that!
I absolutely remember, as a young teenager, listening to my parents and other authority figures as they were telling me what I “should” do….. and I remember thinking – (I was smart enough not to say it aloud) – “you are not living as I want to live my life – so why would I follow your lead?”
Still – I had my moments where I have gotten caught up the the societal “shoulds” & “shouldnts” — Until I finally learned it is only me I need to please – it is only my gut instincts I need to follow….
So when I plan on doing something and someone says to me “are you out of your mind?!” – I am so excited as I know I have captured me – not my conditioned mind!
Great Article! Thanks
Ellie,
You are a woman after my own heart! 🙂
I am the same way. The more someone thinks I’m crazy for doing something, the more I know that I am on the right track!
I have a similar attitude to what you said about not following other’s leads as well, especially in the financial sector. The majority of U.S. citizens work for other companies until they are 65, and then they retire with little or no money available in the bank or in a pension fund. Then, their health starts to fall apart, and they are too broke and/or miserable to enjoy their last years on earth.
Why the hell are we listening to people who advocate that model???