This could very well be the single most important personal development concept that you are ever exposed to.
I give my wife full credit for saying the following, although I don’t know if she originated the saying or not. Regardless of who the original author was, you would do well to read, remember, and internalize the following words:
In order for people to change, the pain of change must become less than the pain of staying the same.
That concept is so telling about why people do or do not achieve lasting self improvement results, and I want to thank Steve over at The Fast Lane for his post that reminded me to share that quote with my blog readers.
There are very few people (if any) who do not have dreams, ambitions, or fantasies about living a life that is an improvement over their present life in some way. Although we should all be living in and enjoying every single moment, this urge to move forward is a part of the very evolution of our species.
Why, then, do so many people fail to make the positive changes that they want so desperately?
The answer is so simple and has been in plain sight all along:
It is simply easier for a person to stay where they are and to deal with whatever discomfort is in their lives than it is to make themselves uncomfortable enough to effect permanent, positive, long-term changes.
Most people want more money or some other form of abundance, yet they don’t actually strive for it because their day to day needs are already being met.
They must have enough food, shelter, and clothing to survive, because if they didn’t, they would be dead! However, find someone who is about to lose the job that pays their bills, or are about to lose their home to bill collectors, and you will also have found someone who will literally live without sleep in order to turn their circumstances around.
The world (especially the United States) is full of overweight people or people who have negative health conditions that could be eliminated or lessened as a result of eating right and exercising, yet they don’t do everything and anything in their power because the pain of continuing to be out of shape is still easier than exercising and eating right every day.
However, find someone who is constantly ridiculed, shunned, or who is repeatedly the victim of prejudice because of their weight or their physical condition, and often times that person will “flip a switch” that turns them into a workout junkie because they have decided that leading a healthy lifestyle is easier (less painful) than the alternative.
People are constantly visiting online dating websites, message boards, and chat rooms in order to find romance and friendship, yet when push comes to shove, they don’t make the long-term commitment needed for successful relationships.
The occasional bout of lonliness or sexual frustration by an unattached person is still easier to deal with (less painful) than the risk of getting emotionally and/or financially involved with a long-term partner, roommate, or even just a good friend.
However, someone who has finally “had enough” of their solitary lifestyle will pull out all the stops in order to achieve relationship success. They will also achieve that success because they have decided that the pain of taking a chance on a relationship is less than the pain of being emotionally and/or financially alone.
You can plug this formula into any human equation that you can imagine, and the results will ALWAYS be the same!
People don’t make the changes in their lives that they “claim” they want to make because when push comes to shove, even if their life isn’t perfect, it is still easier to keep walking the same path than it is to carve a new path through a dense and potentially dangerous jungle.
So, the next time you feel like whining because you don’t have enough money, or because you’re lonely, or because you’re fat, I invite you – with all due respect – to stop whining about it, and to get outside of your comfort zone and to do something about your situation.
You are – after all – the only person who has the power to do that.
Fantastic article. I use the law of attraction and blog about it. I add to every post that ACTION is the key to making it work. I think your post today sums up exactly why people don’t take that action – the pain is greater. What a simple and lazy society we are, a bit of ‘pain’ is all that seperates us from our goals.
Grant.
That is so true. As one who was involved in trying to bring about change in a major government office I can tell you that it won’t happen unless there is really no other option for people. There are always a couple who can take and run with the idea, but for the rest, unless their jobs are at stake, there is very little response. Pain (emotional or physical) is a great change agent. Great post.
Even though, I agree with the entire self development buzz going around I want to add one thing:
1- How come there are self development practices and approaches and they all claim to be an innovative approach?
2- Why is it that we find people’s testimonials for every practice claiming to have experienced success using the system (whatever that was)?
3- I have not heard (or read) any self improvement expert so far who mentioned in anyway that every individual has his/her own success system that works for him/her, which explains why there are a variety of approaches that claim to work.
5- I myself is a women empowerment consultant. I believe and have seen that everyone can achieve a transformation in any aspect of his/her life if they approach transformation from a self directed starting point. What is common is that “ask and you shall receive”. The secret is to ask the Almighty God to show you the way. You place the intent then the system comes. Amen
Grant,
I sincerely hope that by reading material such as this, people will start to realize that they could literally change the entire direction of their lives by simply being willing to get outside of their comfort zones.
Plus, the irony of the situation is that by spending enough time outside of your comfort zone, you assure yourself a life full of comfort!
Ah….irony. Ya gotta love it!
p.s. – Big props to you for teaching the LOA crowd that they need to take action. That’s a big source of confusion out there right now.
Anne,
I appreciate your comments, and having worked with the government myself, I can totally relate!
It’s the “no option” part that finally gets people to take action. Think of the man who has a heart attack at 50 and almost dies before he finally realizes that his only option for survival is to lay off the saturated fats.
Suddenly a horrible diet isn’t as appealing as it used to be!
Asma,
I love this quote: “You place the intent, then the system comes.”
What I love about it (other than the fact that it is the truth) is that it works across the board for all people who are seeking improvement.
Whether you look to your deity, your mentor, you friends/family, or even to your inner-being, the “system” that all of them would have you use begins with the intent of accomplishing your goal.
Since every single person is different there is no one success system that works across the board for everyone. The only system that works is the one that works for that person, and that person has to want to effect change bad enough to be willing to do whatever it takes.
You expressed it very well.
Complacency is an enemy of our dreams.
Sounds as if your wife is a wise woman!
Karen,
Shhhhh! Don’t go spreading that around. Next thing you know, SHE’LL be writing this blog!
;)Thanks for your thoughts, Karen, as always!
Hi, Aaron;
This is SO SO SO true. It articulates something that Ophelia and I talk about a lot, especially when we get ‘comfortable’.
We know we want more, and I think for both of us there is this wierd fear of getting comfortable, because we are AWARE of this human tendency and we fear we will stop striving for more…so far this has proven to be untrue (we are DEFINITELY always striving for more 😉 ), but it is something we see in many, many peope around us.
Thanks for the reminder!
Take care,
Shauna
Breathing Prosperity
Shauna,
As much as I have read from the Breathing Prosperity site, it comes as no surprise that you and Ophelia grasp and embrace a concept such as this.
You 2 continue to lead by example in your actions as well as your writings! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂