Positive thinking has been touted as a success tool for decades, and its alleged uses have ranged from helping to deal with difficult situations all the way up through and including playing a part in the physical healing process of the human body.
I’m a big believer in positive thinking myself, and encourage its proper use in order to help us through rough times, as well as simply making life a more enjoyable experience. I am a member of the Positive Blog Network, and, along with my fellow members, enjoy using my writing as a tool to help people make positive changes in their lives.
However, that being said, positive thinking has not been accepted by everyone as the “cure all” that some others seem to think it is. As a result, like most powerful processes that are known to mankind, there is a debate as to the real value of positive thinking vs. whether or not it amounts to little more than wishful thinking.
The positive thinkers in the world will swear that positive thinking is an actual lifestyle that is the basis for everything that they do. However, people who aren’t quite so convinced tend to focus on success tools that are more measurable in their effectiveness.
So, although I myself am an admitted (and proud!) positive thinker, I also believe that keeping an open mind and being aware of both sides of any given coin is always a good idea. To that end, I have put together a few of the potential problems with positive thinking so that you, dear reader, can make your own choices about whether or not to include positive thinking as part of your lifestyle success strategy.
The Problems with Positive Thinking
Positive thinking doesn’t “fix” things – Although it is true that any imaginable situation can be made better by having a positive attitude about the situation itself, that does not mean that positive thinking can change the details of the situation.
If you forget to zip your laptop case and your beloved portable pal comes tumbling out onto the sidewalk and smashes into a thousand pieces, having a positive attitude will not change the fact of what happened. Yes, you can “look on the bright side” and say that you were thinking about getting a new computer anyway, but you will still have to get the new computer!
The difference between a positive and a negative thinker, however, is that the negative thinker will consider all of the ways that the broken computer is going to cause problems in their life, while the positive thinker will consider all of the ways that life will be better now that this has happened.
Both people, however, will still need to get a new computer. One of them will just be happier about it than the other one.
Positive thinking is not the only action to take – Looking on the bright side of any given situation is a powerful way to get through times that otherwise might bring you down. However, having a positive attitude is not the sole answer to any given problem.
Using the previous example of the laptop that went for a tumble on the sidewalk, the option is there to have a negative or a positive response to that incident. Yet, even if you manage to conjure up a list of reasons why your laptop being smashed on the sidewalk is a good thing, you cannot lose sight of the fact that you need to zip up your laptop case in the future.
Having a positive attitude may make that situation better, but if you fail to take action on the lesson that you learned, then you may find it difficult to see the silver lining after another laptop or two comes tumbling out of your bag and smashes on the sidewalk!
Positive thinking can blind you – Perhaps the biggest problem with positive thinking is that running around with a big ol’ smile on your face like life is nothing but a big vacation is simply not realistic, and having that attitude can blind you to circumstances that are not so positive.
I’m not saying that you should go through life with an expectation that something bad is about to happen, but you should go through life aware of the details of any given set of circumstances.
Whether you are talking about something as mundane as a work-place full of people who are just looking out for themselves, or if you are talking about something more physically dangerous, such as walking through a bad part of town at night, there are things that a positive attitude will not protect you from.
If something does happen to you that you perceive to be negative, then yes, your positive attitude will help you to recover from it quickly, to learn from it, and to go on with a better life afterwards. However, there are plenty of people and circumstances in the world that are not positive, so do not let your own chipper demeanor keep you from seeing those people or situations for what they really are.
Positive thinking can damage relationships if used improperly – No matter how much any given person wants to have a great attitude about life, there will always be people who won’t – at any given moment – be prepared to hear that “every cloud has a silver lining”.
When negative things happen to some people, they need to let off some steam or do some healing before they are ready to start looking for the positive lesson in whatever negative thing just happened.
As the consummate positive thinker yourself, you already have a well-stocked bag of tricks for dealing with the negative situations that life throws at you. However, not everyone wants the “mojo” that you keep in your goodie bag, and by trying to force it on them before they are ready, you could permanently damage that relationship.
If you are the type of positive thinker who has zero time for negativity, and you don’t want to hear people whining or complaining about their lives, then that is your choice.
However, don’t be surprised when some people turn away from you and start seeking solace and comfort with someone else who is more willing to give them their time to grieve, mourn, or even just throw a much needed temper-tantrum.
Personally, I fall more into the “don’t bring your negativity into my presence” crowd. However, at the same time, I recognize that not everyone sees life as brightly and positively as I do, so I keep a reasonable amount of patience saved up for rough times.
If someone comes to me with a negative circumstance in their life, I have a shoulder for them to cry on, and some good words of encouragement. However, if – after a reasonable amount of time – they are not willing to find the silver lining and move on with their lives, then I have to let them find their answers elsewhere.
Is that a positive attitude on my part? That probably depends on who you ask! However, no matter who you ask, it is a growth attitude on my part, where I encourage people to grow, rather than stagnate in a pool of negativity based on the curve balls that life throws at them.
So, does all of this mean that I am giving up on the “power of the positive“? Hardly! However, no matter what aspect of life you are talking about, it is wise to understand how and why it all works so that educated and appropriate decisions can be made.
I hope that this information has helped you be prepared to do exactly that!
This post was inspired by the very positive efforts of Kirsten Harrell, whose Positive Thinking Day project is one very much worth checking out! Click on through to Kirsten’s website at ipopin.com to see how you can participate and take part in a new ebook that she is publishing. The book will be given away as a bonus to people who make a donation to the very worthwhile Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation. Awesome stuff!
Dear Aaron,
I think you wrote a good and ‘necessary article’. If a person is ill, he’d better go to the doctor while he also visualizes himself healthy, etc.
I also find that there’s no convincing reason to defend “a negative-thinking life mode”. Feeling better looks like an unbeatable reason, already.
Having had 3 past hard days myself, I found that my positive attitude towards negative events has helped me to find possible solutions and avoid feeling myself destroyed, as it would have happened in the past, with another attitude from my part.
I share time at my job with people who are all-time negatives. With them I have learned that they hate to hear my positive side of things and that insisting on taking them out of that negative field takes too much energy from me. Instead, I’ve switched to a nodding style. Sometimes I simply don’t have any idea what they are talking about & I find myself thanking the Universe for being able to see the positive side of things and for feeling so happy. They are useful to show me contrast. To show what I shouldn’t do.
Positive thinking does not solve anything by itself but it helps you place you in a better position to find solutions and to learn from mistakes, as you said.
Thank you for your article.
Patricia
No, it won’t fix the laptop. And sitting around saying “The Laptop is Fixed! I’m so Happy!” while it’s in pieces isn’t positive thinking… it’s delusion. 🙂
My wife and I drove out to the beach today… what is normally a 20 minute ride took about an hour and a half because of the traffic. And no, thinking “Hey, ain’t this grand!” sure didn’t get the cars moving, but it was fun spending some extra time with the woman I love and singing along with to the radio with her.
I can’t say I’m naturally positive… yet. But I know I like it better than when I’m not!
One comment about both positive thinking and the law of attraction. As you mentioned, neither overcome the fact that you have to actually do something. They are not a replacement for action. However, for me, the right attitude puts me in the proper frame of mind to take action. The “negative crowd” tends to beat themselves up, blame others, spend hours in wishful thinking not accepting what is, etc. All of which suck up time and energy, and are impediments to positive action.
For me, positive thinking and law of attraction simply set the groundwork for focused action.
Andy
Patricia,
What a great comment! You are so right about the “all-time negatives” – especially in the workplace.
Yet, even given that part of your situation, you have managed to see negativity in a positive light – as a necessary contrast.
Good for you, Patricia, and you keep up that wonderful attitude of yours. Sooner or later, you may even switch someone over from the other side! 🙂
Lyman,
You’ve hit the nail right on the head; being positive is simply a better choice than being negative!
No, having a positive attitude can’t fix things such as broken laptops and traffic jams, but it can certainly make the time that you spend in a less-than perfect situation much more enjoyable than it otherwise would be!
Andy,
Beautifully put! A positive attitude does indeed put you in the right frame of mind, and, according to the Law of Attraction, it will also serve to attract better situations to you.
Then, as you said, the groundwork has already been set to take whatever action is then necessary. Awesome stuff, Andy – thanks for sharing!
Indeed, there is a healthy balance to be struck when thinking positive. Some people blind themselves far enough to where they are no longer in touch with reality.
Grayson,
Yes, that is certainly true. And in fact, it works both ways. Just as some people can be so blindly optimistic that they are bordering on unrealistic expectations, so, too, can people be blindly negative.
The longer that people think in a negative manner, the harder it is for them to see a positive opportunity, even if it is staring them right in the face.
Bringing both of those sets of people back from the edge is a good idea! 🙂
Hi Aaron,
Thanks for contributing to this writing project/ebook. I appreciate your input. At the risk of repeating you and some of the other commentors… of course nothing happens if we don’t take action, but our actions follow our thoughts.
If someone is stuck in negative thinking they might decide not to get a new computer because “it will probably get ruined too, that is what always happens to me.” Pessimists tend to see setbacks as permanent and they generalize setbacks to their whole life.
A positive thinker (optimist) would replace the laptop and think something like this: “I will make sure to close the bag from now on. This was a one time goof up.” Optimists see setbacks as temporary and specific to the immediate problem.
Thanks again Aaron!
Kirsten,
Thanks for letting me know about the project! I am a big time positive thinker, so I thought a piece about the other side of the coin coming from me would be the epitome of objective journalism. 😉
Thanks for continuing to lead the way when it comes to positive and proper thinking for a great life, Kirsten! 🙂
Just wanted to say that you can not think positive if you do not have a self image that is consistant with how you would like to think.
If you are a very moody/negative person and want to speak positively , you can only speak as positive as your self image allows. If you try to think positive and you dont have a self image that is consistant with how you want to think you are setting yourself up for frustration and failure.
If you want to think positive, change your self image to one that is a positive person and you will soon start thinking and believing as a positive person would unconsciously without strain and pain.
Much love,
Sarah
Sarah,
That is an excellent point, and thank you very much for sharing it.
A similar thought process is applied to affirmations. Some people believe that saying affirmations about things that don’t exist yet simply cements into place the fact that they don’t exist yet!
That is a different conversation, but it was the first thing that came to mind when I read your comment.
I wrote this post recently that discusses a very similar concept to what you said; that it is all about the type of person that you are willing to be.
Again, thanks for continuing the conversation, Sarah!
Great article. The Law of Attraction doesn’t mean a thing if you don’t follow it with action. Neither does a positive attitude change your world. You are what changes your world. Having a positive attitude helps you do that. The Law of Attraction doesn’t take away the fact that we are responsible for what we want changed.
Patricia,
You are exactly right – it alls boils down to personal responsibility.
Whether you want to look at something as “normal” as sticking to a to-do list each day, keeping a positive attitude, or if you want to leap all the way up to the 100% accountability beliefs that power Ho’oponopono, it still comes down to whether or not we are responsible for our lives.
Thanks for your comment!
Every thought can be captured, judged and changed. The past is gone, it no longer exists, tomorrow is not here yet so does not exist either. Make today worth something meaningful to yourself and others and be happy that you did. Think on things that make you feel good and you will act accordingly.
Ken,
This part of your quote is some powerful stuff:
It’s pretty hard to feel good and then do something that doesn’t resonate with that good feeling. So, as you indicated, feeling good is the key. 🙂