When you were a kid, did you ever sit around thinking about what you wanted to be when you grew up? I’m not talking about standard answers such as wanting to be a fireman or a ballerina, but a true burning desire that was insatiably strong, even when you were too young to know what it was all about.
Although I had a few ideas when I was younger (astronaut, pilot in the Air Force, etc.), there were no career choices for me that were so desirous that I just couldn’t stop thinking about them. However, there was one thing that I remember consistently thinking almost every day when I was taking the bus to school:
“I want off this bus!”
It wasn’t that I didn’t like school, because for the most part, I did. It wasn’t because I didn’t do well in school, because from 1st grade on I could pull top marks whenever I truly applied myself.
No, it wasn’t the educational institution or the social aspects of going to school that I had a problem with. It was the bus ride!
I would sit on the bus (usually alone – I had very little patience for bus rowdiness) and look out the window at all of the grown-ups and young adults who were out walking, jogging, riding bikes, or driving their cars as they went about their morning routines. I stared out at those people and thought about how free they all were!
Here was a lady walking her dog down the sidewalk, seemingly with nowhere to be, and all day to get there.
Over there was someone all alone getting some early morning exercise in an environment that didn’t require “picking teams,” or deciding if your side of the court in dodge ball was “shirts” or “skins”.
Right next to the bus were 2 or 3 cars piloted by adults who (to my young knowledge) were free to go along their merry way to work, or to just stop off at a local restaurant for a leisurely breakfast, then continue on to do something that had to be more enjoyable than the regimented structure of a standard school day.
All of these people shared a common trait that was still years into my future, yet separated by nothing but a half inch pane of glass:
They were FREE!
Oh, I had no doubts that each of them had their own trials and tribulations to deal with. Yet right now, at the start of this beautiful day, as 30-plus kids were being transported on the prison barge, those people had a freedom that was not available to the bus inhabitants, myself included. We sat there in our ugly green vinyl seats, looking out through glass that was cold on the forehead that was pressed against it, and we were trapped.
I couldn’t stand it then, and I still can’t stand it now. I’m the kind of person that won’t go to a party with my friends unless I know that I can leave whenever I want to.
I’m the kind of person who schedules things out in extreme detail in order to make sure that there will be no chance of my freedom being taken away by some unexpected hiccup in the daily routine.
I’m the kind of person who tends to keep a backup plan in my pocket, and another one in the other pocket, just in case.
I value Freedom above all else, and even my lofty financial goals are simply a means to safeguard and realize the joy of Freedom, rather than a way to get a bunch of expensive toys.
So, just this morning as I was jogging around my neighborhood doing my standard 60 minutes of early morning cardio, guess what I saw?
You know where this is going, don’t you??
Yep – a big ol’ prison barge school bus full of unwilling passengers who would all probably rather have been home, still in bed.
And I smiled. Oh, how I smiled! I was 50 minutes into my run, very sweaty, very tired, very much looking forward to the finish line and some breakfast, and when I saw that bus and got hit over the head with the realization of the situation, I suddenly couldn’t stop grinning.
Here I was trudging along doing the right thing for the accomplishment of my health goals; I’m hot, hungry, sweaty, and thirsty, and I’m thinking about how much I can’t wait to see the finish line, and then I see this bus and it hits me:
“I’m on the other side of the glass.”
20-25 years after being the boy in the picture above, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was doing what I was doing at that moment (tired, hungry, thirsty, etc.) because I chose to be doing it.
No one forced me to get up and go jogging. In fact, no one has forced me to do anything for a very long time. My life is what it is from a day to day, month to month, and year to year basis because I have created it to be that way.
I have no parents who are in charge of my life from day to day. My family influences my life to the extent that I wish for them to. I have no boss (other than myself). Even my own children, although still young, have already proven that they hardly need my moment to moment assistance to get through life.
In short, I run past buses with the same status that I work, eat, sleep, and play. My status is what it is because I am on the other side of the glass, and I have literally become the freedom that I saw for so many years as I looked out that bus window.
I don’t just have freedom, I live freedom.
Will the accomplishment of my personal and financial goals allow me to deepen the strength and breadth of that freedom? Absolutely, and you can bet I spend many hours each day working towards making that happen.
However, in the meantime, I can run past as many school buses as I want to, and I’m pretty damn happy about that.
What about you? Which side of the glass is your life on?
I always thought of a bus as the trip and the excitement of getting there, rather than a glassed in cage. Even when busing in to school.
And you did have a career in mind, burning desire for it, you wanted to be a boss.
Great article.
Thanks, Anja!
It’s funny, because as I have gotten involved in personal development and conscious creation, I, too, have come to think of the enjoyment of each moment, rather than looking towards the future.
However, at the time, you are probably right. That was the beginning of my need to be self employed! 🙂
Great Post Aaron!
Love this:
I don’t just have freedom, I live freedom.
Keep up the great work.
Craig
I had the same inspiration – I did a post on just this same thing – seeing a landscape through a car window and wanting to paint it – now I am on the other side of that glass living my dream!
Much obliged, Craig!
It’s GREAT to be free, and I appreciate the positive feedback!
Viv,
I saw that post – good stuff! Isn’t it grand to be on this side of the glass? 🙂
Here is the post if anyone wants to check out Viv’s inspiration.
I can completely relate to your feelings! It’s been 20 years now but 20 years ago I had a “bureaucratic” job. It was them telling me that I could have a 15 minute break at 10:15 and a 45 minute lunch at 12:30 that convinced me that I was the type that had to work for myself. I wanted control and freedom with my time!
I hear you, Karen! I’m too much of a free spirit to have someone telling me when to take a break, eat lunch, etc.
Isn’t the freedom and control of working for yourself wonderful? I show gratitude for the fact that I am a “free” worker every day! 🙂
Oh my ___ Aaron, I am just chomping at the bit to add my comment here, as your brain works so much like mine does it makes me want to cry – or laugh!
I once, not so long ago, wrote a post about realizing that there was NOTHING wrong with me for all my wanderlust and desire to be free. Every time I do goal-setting exercises, FREEDOM is my highest value. I value it over everything else, and it’s so funny for me – and heartwarming – to see that you worry about being able to ‘leave a party whenever you want to.’ Me too! Even if I’m driving with someone else (at their mercy), and they remember they have to stop for gas or a quick errand, I get annoyed because it feels like I’m trapped. My other half does this to me all the time and he doesn’t understand why it annoys me – in turn, I never really understood why it annoyed me so much until reading your post just now. It’s simply a function of the huge value I put on the freedom of my time and my mind. Wow!
Thank you so much for digging in and thinking back, and then for sharing it. I, for one, am grateful there is at least one kindred soul out htere who understands me. 🙂 …although it has been obvious for some time that we share very similar values. I live my life in freedom by choice and by conscious creation as well, and I take my hat off to you for doing the same!
Shauna
Shauna,
It certainly doesn’t surprise me that you value freedom as much as I do! I would guess that a strong desire to enjoy life by living Free is something that a lot of conscious creators have in common.
Anyone can go get a job or settle into a social routine that is dictated by other people. Doing what other people say and living by their rules is simple, and doesn’t require that much thought or effort. Despite the amazing Freedom that I have since I am self-employed, I often tell people that my life would be a lot easier if I had a J.O.B.! 😉
I am in good company with people like you, Shauna, as well as the others who are carving their own path through life, and I could not be happier about hanging out with such an upscale crowd.
However, once we all start meeting together at group events (which is something I am working on), then we’ll just have to make sure that everyone has their own car! 😉
🙂
Funny enough, I assume we will all meet some day as well. The people I admire most, who are carving out their own paths and creating wealth and happiness for themselves, are very special indeed, and we all need each other as support and inspiration.
Thanks again!
Aaron,
THANK YOU! (sorry for shouting)
I was the same kid on that bus – way more interested in reading than mooning people out of the window (do kids still do that?)
I’d say I’m hanging out of the window – the breeze is blowing in my face, but I’m not quite ready to let go. There are too many others on the bus with me that I may not be able to be of service to if I really jumped off.
Ouch… just typing that seemed… well, wrong. Something to consider today as I travel to my own prison. Hey, at least I get to drive myself. 🙂
Lyman,
See? You’re already on the right track by being grateful for things like being able to drive yourself! As an LOA student, you know that gratitude for what we have opens the doors to get more things to be grateful for.
As far as being of service to other people who are still on the bus, it’s not the actual being or not being on the bus that matters, but whether or not you want to be on the bus that counts.
It is in doing what we want that we experience Freedom, which is why this whole idea has made me so happy in the realization of my present state of affairs. I am where I am because I chose to be here, and that fills me with joy.
You’ll get off the bus if and when you choose to, Lyman, but in the meantime, keep on showing gratitude for being able to drive, and don’t forget:
No Standing Forward of the White Line!
🙂
Hey Aaron,
Beautiful story about realizing your freedom, very inspiring. The view is indeed amazing from “this side of the glass”, isn’t it. We too choose freedom. Jennifer and I both walked away from six figure corporate jobs (a.k.a. well paid slave labor) to be free.
And every day we follow our passion and our inspiration… a true blessing far too few people have ever experienced.
Have an awesome day!
Dan & Jennifer
Dan & Jennifer,
The two of you remain an inspiration for your continued success on this side of the glass! Life is grand when we live it the way we choose to, and both of you lead by example in that regard.
Thanks for the comment and for your leadership! 🙂
Great reading! Speaks to what I am currently experiencing! Always thought I had to race to the finish line – I see differently now and my life reflects the joy I encounter in each moment. Thanks!
Pam
http://www.light2u.blogspot.com
Pam,
Welcome! Always great to see someone post a great thought for their first comment on the blog!
Each moment is really where it is all at, Pam, and by continually realizing that, we create more great moments in the future.
Ever since I wrote this post, I see school buses everywhere, and I always smile and give thanks!! 🙂