If you’re fat, broke, or your relationships stink, why don’t you stop and ask yourself just what it is that you are getting out of that situation that causes you to stay there year after year?
Before you seriously consider these concepts, however, put your Excuse Hat in the closet and lock the door, because your excuses are what have powered your ability to get to where you presently are in life. If you want things to change, then your excuses need to go away!
All of us living the 3-dimensional existence here on planet Earth have dreams, aspirations, goals, etc., and sometimes we even make a consistent effort to see them realized. However, more often than not, people refuse to consistently do what it takes to effect long-term, positive changes in their lives. As a result, they mindlessly stay on a road that leads nowhere, in a car they don’t even want to be in, surrounded by people they would just as soon leave at the next rest stop.
What EXACTLY are you getting out of that type of situation??
Sure, it’s easy to just sit back and know that you want to lose weight, make more money, or be in better relationships, but why not take a more active role in your own happiness by simply asking yourself: “What am I getting out of the fact that this area of my life isn’t what I want it to be?”
If you’re Fat
If you are, and you’re offended right now, then that should be a huge red flag that you aren’t getting what you want out of your level of health and fitness.
Do you like how it feels to hide your body behind clothes that disguise your curves? Do you like the fact that you see people every single day who have the type of body that you want to have? Do you like the fact that your self esteem and your self confidence take a hit every time you look in the mirror? Do you like the fact that other people have something that you want, but have been unable to attain?
Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then what exactly is it that is stopping you from taking the consistent, long-term steps necessary to lose weight? Don’t forget – the excuses are locked in a closet right now.
For most people, that will leave them with nothing to say in their defense, because excuses are all that they have been putting their back against for all of these years.
If you’re Broke
Money might not buy happiness, but it sure does buy plenty of opportunities and freedoms that allow us to do the things that cause happiness in our lives. If you’ve been struggling with finances, what exactly is it that you are enjoying so much about that struggle that causes you to keep doing it?
Do you like never having the money to do the things you want to do? Do you like worrying about whether or not you are going to have enough money to pay your bills? Do you like creditors and bill collectors calling you? Do you like seeing other people with the material goods or experiences that you want to have, yet you can’t have because you’re broke?
Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then what is stopping you from cleaning up your finances, and finding abundance in your life? With your excuses firmly locked away in the closet, the only thing you should be thinking right now is: “You’re right! It’s time to finally make changes after all these years!”
If you’re Relationships Stink
You may not feel that it is within your power to magically bring Mr. or Mrs. Right into your life, but you can control whether or not you stay with your present significant other, or whether or not your present relationship includes the experiences that you want to have.
Do you enjoy having someone in your life who doesn’t treat you the way that you want to be treated? Do you enjoy feeling like you are trapped in a relationship that you don’t want to be in? Do you enjoy fantasizing about a person or a relationship that is a far cry from where you are right now? Do you enjoy clocking off the precious, limited amount of hours in your life while having a relationship status that does not bring you joy?
Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then why exactly is it that you don’t make the hard decisions or take the appropriate action in order to change your circumstances? With your excuses locked away in the closet, it may very well be time to start taking massive action in order to safeguard your own happiness.
Were the examples that were given blunt, and to the point? You bet they were, because that is exactly what people need to hear! The B.S. politically correct atmosphere that our world is enshrouded in does nothing but help people feel better about the fact that they aren’t willing to do what it takes to improve their lives.
So, what are you going to do now? Will you continue to be fat, broke, or unhappy in your relationships, or will you leave the excuses safely locked away in the closet and start taking control over your life?
Great article Aaron. I love how straight to the point you were! People need to hear that more often…there’s too much feel good fluff out there. What people need is some HARDCORD personal development advice. You nailed it. 🙂
Glad you enjoyed the post, Steve, and you’re totally right. In today’s day and age of so many people becoming more enlightened, as wonderful as that is, many people are taking it too far to the extreme.
No matter how enlightened you are, as long as you’re walking around in a physical body, you still need to tend to the responsibilities of doing so!
Amen! I think you said it exactly how it should have been said! At the end of the day you either did something about your situation or you didn’t. There is no in between! Thanks for the post:)
Bertie,
That is such a true statement! All that matters in the end – whether it is the end of the day, the week, the month, or the year – is whether or not you actually did what it took. The excuses are irrelevant.
Thanks for the comment!
😉
As usual, I love your post content, Aaron. I notice you are getting tougher as you go through your tough fitness program! Amazing how when we are disciplined in one area, it leaves less room for tolerating lack of honesty or discipline in others.
So let’s answer the question…what am I getting out of it? Here I will put myself out there and answer this very personal question in a way that I hope helps at least one reader:
What am I getting out of staying in my less-than-perfect relationship?
I am getting:
* The comfort of having someone around
* The ability to say I have a special someone and therefore not feel like a big loser (even though in truth I’m happy with myself – relationship or not)
* Someone to share things and experiences and plans with
* A father figure for my daughter, and the security and comfort of having a man in the house
* Hugs
* Someone who loves me
* Someone I care about = warmth
* The opportunity to have my own beliefs reflected at me so I can work on them
* Shelter from the fear that there is no one out there who is better for me
…and on and on. If my relationship is not perfect, it is because I AM NOT perfect.
I hope that many people wil lexamine their own reasons for their current behavior because of your post, Aaron…when we get honest about why we are doing (or not doing) things, at least we can make a conscious decision as to whether we’re OK with the status quo, and why.
Have a grat day!
Shauna,
As honest and as forthcoming as you always are in your writing! 🙂
You also bring up a wonderful point – perfection vs. settling. No one is perfect (nor should we try to be), and if we are truly happy with any given part of our lives, then we should keep right on truckin’! However, a lot of people are hiding behind a shield of feigned happiness, when in truth they are simply settling because they aren’t willing to put forth the necessary efforts.
This post was actually inspired by a trip to the beach over the Memorial Day holiday when I saw a lot of people who were clearly not happy with their bodies, yet they we obviously not doing anything about it.
Yes, there are people who will say, No, I am not perfect, but I am happy, and those people should keep going on their path.
To the rest – the people who are neither happy nor perfect – the question of what they are getting out of their status is a great question for them to ask themselves.
Thanks for bringing a great point of view to the conversation, Shauna! 🙂
I was reading your article and almost cried..it is sooo very true about making excuses for everything..I have a goal and reading this article really motivated me to accomplish it..thank you!
Scott,
One of my primary goals with my writing is to inspire people to take action in order to make their lives what they want them to be, so I am very happy that I was able to be a part of that for you!
Hi, Aaron;
I just wanted to belatedly add a little anecdote here, in case anyone (!) sees themselves in it.
My ex-mother-in-law, when chowing down on copious amounts of Italian bread and pasta (high in calories, and almost devoid of nutrition), would often lament ‘I’m so fat!’ As the honest person I am, I’d say, ‘Then stop eating so much bread!’ as she was lifting yet another piece to her mouth. She was always half-jesting, and it was obvious that what she really wanted to hear is ‘You? No! You’re not FAT!! You’re just short for your weight…’
I simply could not feed the denial; I felt compelled to be the voice of rationality.
I hope this post of yours will wake at least a few people up and compel them to move (literally) into a life of vitality and energy – which we all deserve.
Thanks again, Aaron!
Shauna
Shauna,
You simply could not have chosen a better way to word that!!
That is exactly what so many other people do, and your ex-mother-in-law had a rare honest person in her presence when you said that. It’s like that old joke:
Patient: Doc, it works when I do this.
Doctor: Then don’t do that!
Good for you to lead with honesty, Shauna!
Hey,
Aaron: excellent article, as usual. I agree with Shauna on the taugher reflection. I just hope you are not getting taugher inside. (You don’t need to answer this).
Shauna,
I could have written what you wrote. Word by word. Except that the not-so-perfect relationship I am in at the moment don’t include some of the items in your list.
Thanks for having written it. You helped me reflect.
Love,
Patricia
Thanks for the positive feedback, Patricia, and I have zero problem with admitting that Yes, I AM getting tougher!
After 3 years as a personal trainer and 2 years writing about personal development, I have learned that without exception excuses will get you nowhere.
Anyone who wants to hide behind their excuses should not be reading this blog! 😉
I love your straightforwardness.
I inspired myself and changed tough into taugh… things that happen with 2nd languages… but shouldn’t 😉
It’s all good, Patricia! If I had a dollar for every time I spelled something different than the norm, I could certainly pay a proofreader! 😉
Your comments are always welcome, Patricia. No correct spelling necessary!
Hi Aaron/Shauna,
The whole fat discussion got me thinking…. I mean I’m not a fat guy to begin with but I get the opposite quite a bit. My Italian parents will say,
“Steve, you’re so thin! You’re shrinking! Are you sick? You should eat something.”
I just tell them, “I’m lean” and that “I’m perfect the way I am.” Italians must think that eating is the same as breathing.
Great post btw,
Steve
PS – I’m back online with a new personal development website, http://www.freedomeducation.ca
Steve,
That’s a great example of how our culture reinforces habits that – although well-meaning – are not always in the best interest of the individuals.
I have often thought about that specifically with regard to the Italian lifestyle. I LOVE Italian food, but I could never live in a culture like that because I’d be as big as a house!
Thanks for the comment, Steve, and congrats on getting your new site up and running! 🙂
– Aaron
Oh, Steve…You got a laugh there!
When my ex-husband and I did the Body For Life challenge some years ago, we got into amazing shape, and our poor concerned Mother (-in-law for me) really thought we were too skinny…she kept saying we were making ourselves sick, and that we should EAT!!!
So, there is more than just denial here – there are cultural beliefs attached to eating, as well as a bit of love entangled in there, and who knows what else.
I know that Aaron was addressing the issue of people knowing full well that they were doing themselves harm (or at least avoiding doing what they know and believe they should), and just not bothering to make theffort to make things better.
S 🙂
You are right about the “Excuse Hat” I’ve been making excuses so I dont have to get off my butt and do what is right..thanks for this information it really motivated me..
Jo Anne,
Each of us is in charge of our own destiny, so although I may have been the motivation, it is you who has to get off your butt and make it happen! 🙂
Enjoy the journey, Jo Anne!